They all remineded me: Everything happens for a reason

As I walked in to inquire about a part time position in the deli area of the store, I'd never really imagined all that would come from that exact moment or what would be the reason that I had stepped up to ask for a position in that store, however, as the story un-reveals itself, I'm nothing shy of shocked and overwhelmed for all the amazing opportunities that have occurred for myself within those walls!!!!

The place of employment where I clock in on a part time basis as a manager, continues to amaze me. For when I had applied, a friend of mine, shared there's more to this god send then you'll ever begin to realize, go with it and ride that wave as long as  you are able too.

Since I was hired at this facility, I've encountered some hard times and yet, every time I open up to another soul there, about where I am in my life and the trials I'm facing, I'm offered MORE help!!! The strangest part about the help I'm offered, is nothing I'd ever imagine that would've appeared for me, or maybe the strangest part is that its exactly what I need at that exact moment. What ever it is or where ever it comes from .. the thing I continue to hear from everyone there and those that offer the help is:

"Everything happens for a Reason" 

There's a saying that's stuck with me for many years now: 

I needed an income - they hired me I needed help with a ticket - an angel helped me to attain one
I needed more hours - they gave me more
I needed somewhere to live - an angel opened up her home
I needed another bump in hours - they gave me another opportunity
I needed ... asked ... believed ... and received

There's one thing in this life that I'm certain of. Faith. Faith without works is DEAD. 

All you need is ONE small grain, the size of a mustard seed, full of FAITH and you'll never be knocked down.  

I may not have much, yet I do have faith and HOPE and I believe in MAGIC. 

This evening, I needed to share with you that there is HOPE out there and that nothing is impossible, however, staying humble, being honest, open and willing, you will be able to attain the imaginable.

Here's to the next step in my journey and the amazing new chapter to the rest of my journey called:

Life
 

Answered Prayer

As I rolled over today, I didn't want to get out of bed.  I knew that I had another hard day in front of me, full of decisions and actions that I knew may rip at my heart, yet again. As I laid my head down, last night, I had to face the fact that the man that I had fallen for last year had made the final decision to move on. I removed him from my social media so that I didn't find myself sitting in misery and putting in the self preservation mode and helping myself to move forward. It hurt to see and hard to accept. It wasn't that I didn't think he'd move on, it was that I held hope that he'd turn around and decide he wanted me back. It was around 3 AM that I had finally decided to close my eyes to the world I'd created.

The sunshine tried it hardest to awaken me, yet it was my son that finally got me out of bed for the day, for he needed help with breakfast and wanted to know Mom was O.K. and so the day began. After I helped him with what was needed, I went to my usual spot to say a prayer or twenty and shed some tears. For moving forward now, is harder then ever, because many have left,  not much is left and I'm realizing that I'm the one left with God to make the decisions for the small family that I have. All the while, realizing that I needed to shake it off and not allow myself to dive deep into to the depth of despair and pity, for even though life hits me hard, I always get back up. This time shall be no different, yet the direction isn't as clear as I would have wished, it's no different.

My eyes carry some heavy bags under them, from lack of sleep, heavy burdens of the finances, concerns about my business and dreams and the messed up nutrition as well as lack of fitness. My heart aches to be held and told it's going to be O.K.. My body aches from lack of well being. My soul yearns to rest and cries for happiness. My world has been rocked, shaken and thrown around, yet again. The human is only allowed so much before they break and that breaking part is nearer then I'd like to admit at times, however, my faith in my higher power is strong then any evils that are doing their damnedest to break me.

At times I sit and day dream of a wonderful feeling of happiness where I'm in a happy healthy relationship where the kids and I only know laughter, happiness and the excitement to awaken to a wonderful life with out the stresses - the reality of life is no where near this. However, my children are happy, healthy children that know more of life then most children their age. Which is a great thing in my mind, for they live a very good life, compared to many children with a single mother.

I don't sit in pity nor do I choose to utilize the reality of where I am to take for granted the programs that are out there to help others. However, at times I'm realizing I need to ask for them. Which I did this past week and will do again the following week. Though, reality is I'm in a very tough spot and I have to humble myself and ask for alot of help!!


This morning I cried and got very angry with God. I shared with him that I've listened to him and done exactly what I've been told as well as what I honestly believe I'm suppose to be doing. I prayed that he show me something to help me believe that I'm on the right track, for this is the hardest track I've yet to have traveled!! I shared with him how upset I am that I'm still sitting where I am after all these years of heartache, pain and suffering. I shared with him that I'm ready to quit and I see no reason to keep living like this. I shared with him how confused I am at where I am in reality when I've done the footwork. I shared. I cried.

My phone rang from a very important person in  my life today, my landlord.  I was super scared, because I don't have the answers right now and I've had to humble myself to ask for help from those I never imagined I'd ever have to ask. I asked for prayers as we began the call.

The complete opposite occured then what I had imagined.

He was willing to work with me to help me.

I asked him if they had any openings on their staff so that I could ensure somewhere for the children and I to live. He's getting me an application on Monday.

He has every right to evict me.
He didn't need to help me find work.

I don't know how to explain this to you, other then, my prayers were answered today. You see, I have nothing left to give to anyone other then my hands to work and my experience, knowledge and wisdom of where I've been. I don't have an education. I don't have capital for my business. I don't have family that can help me. I don't have a spouse to save me. I don't have anything left, other then:

God

You see, I believe in myself and I believe in what I'm building for a business. Most don't. Most don't believe in my business. Most don't believe I'm  able to make it. Most wouldn't ever even bare to challenge themselves to this level.

However, I'll never harm my children or myself. I'll never put us in a harmful situation, without knowing that we will be safe. I'll always ask for help prior to leaving us with completely empty hands. Even when no one else will help us, God will. He will provide for us. For you see, when you are a good person, who does good things, agrees that there's mistakes made, yet continues to move forward with your dreams and challenges, you are rewarded.

You may not see the rewards.
You may think I need to get a full time job.
You may judge me.
You may not like how I'm choosing to live.

You need to know:

I am me
You are you

God loves us all - for he has no grandchildren

I cried for an hour after that phone call. Many people have helped me out lately, more then they would ever 'need' too, however, they believe in me, just as much as I believe in myself. I may not have a pot of gold, I have a heart of gold, a strong will to do different and a VERY powerful God with insurance tucked away from all my experiences. I won't give up, I won't quit and I will persevere, for if there's anything in this life I've learned is that the strong only win by surrendering.

"Faith without works is DEAD"

If you'd like to help us, here's a way:

https://fundly.com/onward-to-epic-through-a-dream#gallery/2

You're a vessel

There's a voice inside all of us and it's up to us to listen to it.

There's a place I go to cry as I continue to hear this voice and what it continues to share with me.

There's a time when I tell it to stop.

There's a time where when I need to hear it so clearly, it's no longer there, for I know now that I'm doing exactly what I was suppose to do. There's a time where I don't have to go to my favorite places to cry. There's a time when I don't have to tell it to stop.

Today a voice inside me tells me that I'm on track.
Today a voice inside me tells me that I'm no longer lost.
Today a voice inside me tells me that I'm now the vessel I was meant to be.
Today a voice comforts me for today I know that by listening to the voice inside me and following that voice, my heart and all that I believe in, the miracles will now begin to flow.

I was taught for years, that we know the answers, we just choose to not listen to them.
I was taught to not leave before the miracle occurs.
I was taught that the experiences that I've gone through or will, are not for me, they are to help others
I was taught that we do not give up, especially when you believe in what you are doing, no matter how difficult it seems.
I was taught to follow through with my words.
I was taught to make sure to always use my manners.
I was taught to clean up my messes as soon as I'm able to.
I was taught to everything is temporary.
I was taught to love myself.
I was taught to unconditionally love everyone else.
I was taught to never doubt myself.
I was taught to listen to those that I trust and respect.
I was taught that there is a God and it's not ME.
I was taught that you are never alone.
I was taught that with faith come footwork.
I was taught that in order to show you I want differently, I have to live differently.
I was taught that you have to work very hard for what you would like in life.
I was taught that quick fixes will fix nothing quickly.
I was taught that you have everything you need at this moment.
I was taught that when you have nothing, you have everything.
I was taught that misery loves company.
I was taught that God has no Grandchildren.
I was taught that if you woke up today, you are here for a reason.
I was taught that you are not able to change others.
I was taught that no matter what happens, you'll live through  your feelings, for they are not meant to kill you, but help you to grow and become.
I was taught that if you don't like it, change it and if you can't change it, change YOU.

You see-- I was taught alot of things, which millions are not noted here, nor would I ever be able to share them all with you. However, what I am able to share with you is that all of the above work. I'm able to share with you that I'm finally fully connected. I'm able to tell you that I'm able to know and hear that I've finally tapped into what I'm doing here on this earth and that by doing so:

I'm a vessel.

It's my time to show the world what I'm here to do - it's not make money, it's not to make you happy, it's not to make things go away or even appear. It's my time to show you that the impossible is possible and with that I'm able to show you how to love yourself more then enough to make you successful in your own eyes. I'm able to make things happen and put things together as well as show you how to do the same. I'm able to make a difference in this world, on this journey with making things happen and through all of that I'm able to utilize all the tools that God gave me when I arrived, since I've been here and through every mistake I've made and will make.

It's my time to be the vessel I was prepared for.

As my journey continues to progress and my life turns into all the goodness  I've ever wished for in my life as well as all that I'd ever wished for my children appears, through hard work, dedication and a drive so deep, I'm able to share it with this world. Which in turn is everything I've ever wanted in this lifetime -- to help others to help themselves.

God has prepared me, God has weeded my garden, God has planted the seeds, allowed them to grow and now it's time for them to blossom into the beautiful, strong and confident plants that they were meant to be allowing the pollination occur to regrow the beauty.

The journey has been hard, trying, tiring and extremely difficult, yet priceless. For I am not who's past, I'm not who's coming and I'm not who I'd ever imagined I'd ever grow up to be. Today, I'm the woman I am because of everything I lived through and tomorrow I will spread the wealth.

One is not rich with outside possessions - One is rich only within with love and comfort of a full soul and a faith flowin over in their heart

By having nothing, you have everything to gain

THANK YOU to all who've stood beside me, to all who join this journey and to all that left my journey. THANK YOU for without each and everyone of you, I'd not be here today, to tell  you that I'm utterly grateful for every single moment I've lived in this life.

Today - I'm a Vessel
Yesterday is gone
Tomorrow is not promised

#BETHECHANGE
#ONWARDTOEPIC
#MommaLori will #MakeADifference

When you have nothing you have the ability to achieve EVERYTHING

The unknown is a very scary place for so many people! I lived there for so many years!! It wasn't until I lost nearly all, applied my entire experiences to what was in front of me, challenged myself by starting to exercise and become healthy, then to become a sponsored runner to achieving the ultimate for a runner,  a full marathon. Stepping it up a wee bit after an injury to a figure body builder and stepping on stage in my most vulnerable state and sharing all that I had worked for in front of a crowd of strangers. All the while working on myself and maintaining a recovery from alcohol and drugs through a total of 20 years, that I realized that the scariest place was the place that I was stuck!! 

When you go through all the losses that a human being can actually go through and survive them as well as come out above, you realize that there's nothing that's impossible to achieve. You come to a point in your life, when waking up in the morning is the BEST thing of them all!! There's nothing else that's really more important than those that stand next to you while you go through it all and awaking to another day. That's it. That's all you NEED. The rest is just extras!! 

This year, I've become more in tune with myself then I've ever been!! Due to the simple fact that all I literally had was my children and myself. Nothing else, nothing more, nothing less. That was it in entirety and it's been enough.

There's nothing left to lose. That's it. It's down to nothing. The only thing left is to achieve the impossible. The only way is UP. The only thing left to so is to succeed.

For you see, I don't give up and when you put two children in front of me that rely on me day in and day out, not only for their clothes, a roof over their head, food in the fridge, they also want me to be there when they get home from their adventures, they want me to be there to hear them after they have a bad day, they want me to be there to make it feel better, they want me to experience their every moments in their lives. They want nothing more then for me to love them, every single moment of every day. They don't need materialistic items, they don't need nice clothes, they don't need vacations, they don't need to have nothing but to know that they are LOVED.










When I was laid off last year from IBM after almost 16 years, after I lost my baby cousin, after I put down our family dog, after I lived sober through a hard divorce, after I lived through losing a home from foreclosure and bankruptcy, I made a decision.

I'm living every day one day at a time.
I'm living my dreams out as hard as it may be.
I'm living my life as I want to live it.
I'm living my life where I'm able to grow.
I'm living my life with whatever it is that is needed to LIVE.




I'm living.

It's that simple.

I'm living.


There's nothing left for me to lose and there's nothing left for me to do other then to achieve the impossible. There's nothing left for me other then to figure out the next obstacle with a positive move, even when it's the most negative situation I'm in. There's nothing left for me to do other then to take the risks and try to live my life the way I'd always dreamed.



The best part of all of this living is :

It'll never end up just as I dreamed, nope,  it's gonna be 100% more amazing and EPIC then I'd ever
imagined!! Yep -- 100%. Why is that, you may ask? Because I'm not in control. God's got this, all I need to do is be the vessel, carry the message and follow through with the footwork. For he's got my back and he KNOWS that I'm doing everything in my power to move forward. YES, I'm gonna make mistakes. YES, I'm gonna fail. YES, I'm gonna piss people off. YES, I'm gonna make some enemies. Yet, the end of this journey is going to be so amazing that it's gonna go down in history!! Not in my time, but in his.


With faith, footwork, love, patience, tolerance and much dedication, the future holds nothing but GREATNESS!!! #MommaLori #Depends #OnIt

Yearning a Hug of LOVE

After browsing through my pictures this evening, looking for something, yet not really knowing what it was that I was actually looking for, I realized something significant.

The top priorities in my life time have literally been my grandmother, my sister and my two beautiful  children. How do I know this? Well, if you browse my pictures, they are the ones that I hold the most. They are the ones that are always in the pictures, repeatedly, and allowing me to hold them.

What else I realized and how I'm feeling lately, is a void.

A void of the love that others have from others. I'm great at giving love and I'm great at affection towards others, even willing to give affection and attention to others. I'm able to give away what I want so badly in my life. I'm able to notice that in reality all I really want is to come home or even wake up to someone that wants to hold me as much as I want to hold them.

I'm not missing anyone, for all those that have been in my life are just that - the past. They are not someone that I held onto nor did I hold onto when I allowed them to hold me in their lives. Looking back on my life, I was really never 'held'. I usually was the one in the position that needed to hold others, to help them through. Maybe that's why I don't recall the feeling of being held in someone's arms or with their love.

There's a song that's become quite popular lately and it's really hitting home for me:

Girl Crush

The reason it's hitting home so much, is not due to the fact that someone is with someone else in my life, it's more of the simple fact that I'm very envious of all of those that have someone that loves them as much as they love them. I'm very envious of those that get to welcome home their significant  other each night when they return from work or their last destination. I'm envious of how they have the chance to call that other person to share with them the last moments. I'm envious of how they are able to have a conversation, agree to disagree, and yet when they look at each other they know that it was just that - a conversation. 

You know, sometimes I wonder if I've really been in LOVE. Not that I've not LOVED others, however I'm not sure that I've ever experienced that true love from someone else, in a significant other position. That's what I would like to experience. I would love to experience LOVE.

People see me as a driven, determined and dedicated woman. They see me as courageous, confident and full of an energy that they'd love to share. They see me as someone that goes after all that she's ever dreamed of or ever wanted, when in reality, it's all I know. I only know to work harder or seek out whats in my reach or ever over the rainbow. Yet, what I really want ...

Is to know LOVE

There's a saying:

"Treat others as you'd love to be treated"

I'll bring you into my world, I'll welcome you into my home and heart, I'll hold you when you cry, I'll be there when you're lonely, I'll teach you all that I know and I'll never let you go through anything alone.

This is what I yearn for from someone else. My heart has been sad and lonely for this my entire life. This is labeled as my life long dream.

A dream for :

A HUG

A LOVE

A FULL HEART

You see, God has me and I know that no matter where I go or what I work towards, he'll never let me go and I know that he's there every moment of my life. However, it would be nice if he'd show up in a form of a human, who doesn't want to leave my side when the waves get rough or the waves become so amazing that he's there to pick me up when they crash again.

They also say that you are usually not given what you'd wish for because there's so much more being built for you. They say that you are suppose to learn to love yourself, then God will place those people in your life. They say that you are suppose to wait for the great. They say that good things happen to good people. They say alot of different things, which I grab ahold and I utilize every day of my life.

Yet, how long does one work on themselves and how long does one allow the yearning for that HUG to show up before they break ??

All I really want in my life, is that HUG, that LOVE, that one that wants me as much as I want them and that they are as excited to wake up together as much as I am.

Until this happens, I'll continue to love myself and my children. I'll continue to work on my dreams and my faith, as well as continuing on becoming a better person so that when they do show up, I'll be ready for nothing but the HUG of LOVE and be able to never take it for granted.

Not one single moment.

Listen to your GUT

The 22nd of every month is a GREAT day - not sure why it ended up that way or even how really, other than the simple fact that I was born on this day in June. My recovery anniversary is also on the 22nd of April, my Grandmother's Birthday is on Dec 22nd and both my children were born directly after Sept 22nd. Since that's the simple facts, I'm going to blog on May 22nd, 2015 about the last week and the experiences that I've encountered. 

Last Friday I had a complete melt down, as I had to face the simple fact that another individual was choosing to leave before I was able to make a difference in their lives and it was hard to accept. For that same week I went to the government to ask for some emergency assistance and left finding out that they would be able to help me for this month and that was the end of the story. I also had the phone call confirming my suspicions with my family’s decisions in helping the children and I. Which was all a very hard thing to hear and digest, add that on top of being very tired and worn down. As well as, coming to the realization that my gut speaks to me so much that I normally try to bypass it because of my wants and in reality I have all I need. I had to let go off someone I was hoping to implement much longer then they were able to appear. Then, it occurred to me: 

Life wasn’t happening smoothly again. It seemed as though the battles were there and that, even though I was doing the footwork, things were not connecting. I took a deep breath and I asked for direction and the willingness to listen to what I needed to, in order to move forward. Then I put it to work and asked those I trusted, had the experience and also was willing to help me with unconditional love previously. I had to let go of the control and rely on the faith and know that no matter how scared I am, I will not be dropped on my head and I will make it through to the end, for I’d woken up that day. 

The next morning, I took every bit of cash I had, put what I could in the gas tank, brought with the food I was able to for the trip to the cities, to fulfill my obligations. Yet, I made appointments with those that I knew could help guide me and began the phone calls on the trip. I shared how what I felt and what I was going through, I listened and asked for suggestions. I then, noted what needed to be done next. The funniest thing occurred, while in the cities, as I had let so much go on the ride up there and the phone calls, that I was able to hear exactly what I needed while visiting and collaborating for the future, which in turn actually opened so many more doors. 

I was able to collaborate for more events, up and coming with my choreographer, with the supplement company that I’m sponsored by and also other opportunities that would never had appeared. I was even willing to drop my pride and start to step up and reach out to other networks to create a larger network for my models and talents. I never realized why I was actually being noted as Momma Lori for years, which resulted in not only to hashtag it and label myself as that as an agent, but more so for the type of agency that I’m creating, which is known as a mother agency. Get it – mother agency for MommaLori. Eerie if you ask me – HA 

Then after returning home that evening, I was actually trying to hook up with someone and it fell through and so I took a chance to speak to someone that I knew would be a great network opportunity and he accepted. Which floored me, in itself, for this man I’ve watched for almost a year and a half and there’s nothing that’s he’s done or created that has turned me off from the individual he is, nor would I ever question working with him. For his morals and values are present, as he continues to create greatness and shares it through all that he’s doing for others, that’s the exact type of people I’d like to have in my life, be it business or friendships. 

This just started the ball rolling, there were so many amazing opportunities that came about this week, such as a lease renewal, jobs for my daughter, partnering with a favorite hotel chain, a travel agent, booking a VIP event, a possible collaboration with a venue in Texas, a ghost writer for my story, a magazine article on the company, an interview on the company, a new prep trainer and so much more!!! I was able to help someone that’s going through a rough time, that I had met last year and also a few others that needed a few moments of my time. 

I’ve been on fire ever since, and I’ll be damned if I’m gonna stop now. The universe has told me it’s now time and I need to continue on and keep moving forward. No one has said that this is the end of the hardships, but yet, the beginning of the new chapter and this one will be phenomenal. 

I do fully believe that if we work hard, put our faith first and continue to do the ‘right’ things with the right direction and continue to help others, the best of the world will be given to us, for we worked hard for it. This is now my time and the beginning of everything I’ve ever worked for is beginning to appear and will not continue now for quite some time. It’s not going to be easy and there’s still issues to deal with, yet the hardships are now over. It’s the universe advising me that it’s time to finally live my life to the fullest with its help. 

I’ll never argue that Faith Without Works Is Dead, for its seen true for me. As well as, letting go and allowing our HP to work in our lives, by following their guidance and continuing on with the footwork, we will be given a full, happy and joyous life filled with nothing shy of miracles. 

Yesterday is passed 

Tomorrow is not promised 

Today is the GIFT 

#MommaLori #MakesitHappen #OnwardToEPIC #HawtiesForHire #H4H

Impossible is Possible, I'll show you

Tonight and at a point last weekend, I was given a glimpse of my future that I've created. Tonight, I realized ... honestly and deeply... that my dreams are no longer dreams, my dreams are NOW my REALITY!!!! I'm overwhelmed, due to the simple fact that things are coming together midst the horrible time I'm having in another HUGE part of my life. I always wanted a story to show the world that the impossible is possible, I just never imagined it to look like this!!

Two weeks ago, I thought I had the answers to my depleting finances and I was under the impression that I would be able to be assisted by those that I thought unconditionally loved me, and then those options were removed from myself. Leaving me with decisions I needed to either make or else fall apart and crash.

Which at this point in my life, it's NOT an option in my vocabulary, for my children are my world and crashing is not a part of what I do as a role model and a parent. Due to the simple fact that my life as a child was surrounded with those that I loved doing so, resulting in my childhood as it was and having to teach myself to grow up much faster than I had ever wanted. So -- I made some decisions:

I decided to stick to what I've created and continue on with my dreams, less the simple fact that in literally two months I've no idea where I'll be living or how I'll have income if this business does not take off.

Last week I filed for welfare and food stamps, as well as emergency assistance to help me through this month of no revenue. For my business plan included the events that I'm creating to bring in the base revenue and then from that I would build a phenomenal company to help others to achieve their dreams.  Yet, without capital, one needs to be ready for a huge fail and also some major bumps.

I was granted emergency assistance, some food assistance and that was the end of what I was granted, for the government still deems me as a taxable individual that made to much money and is considered to make to much money in order to help assist. Which, was yet, another blow. Fueled my fire is what it did.

This past week, I've not only pounded the pavement to advertise across SE MN, I've also sent out over 400 emails (I'm NOT done yet - for  my first event is not until the 23rd of May ) and I've also worked on mailings to all the female audience that influences this area. I've set up meetings, I'm connecting to all marketing and networking groups and I'm also going to go out and share the excitement and enthusiasm behind this event in the metropolitan area.

I've only began on this journey and when I put my heart and soul into something it  always works out and it's usually better then I'd ever imagined - yet - this time, It's not only for me, my children and god, it's also to help the community and those that work hard for the temples they reside in. I'm not only on this journey for myself, but now to help change the world and even BETTER YET ... I'm NOT working for a company that is only about greed. I'm working towards helping others and allowing my children to grow and excel as humans with dreams and allowing them to achieve the impossible, without even realizing most people look at it as such. 

For over 25 years of my life, I've worked for someone else, and I paid their bills. I sent in my taxes and I did what they told me to do. For years, I was trapped, inside myself, looking through the windows of my soul, only hoping to escape and become who I knew I had the opportunity to become. I was lost .... for over 37 years of my life... and until now, until this year, I had NO idea how trapped I was. I had no idea how much I yearned for freedom, freedom to become all that I knew I could be and all that I had ever dreamed!!

Last weekend, as we stood in the venue, with the lights and the music surrounding me, seeing the individuals I'm working with just light up with excitement and enthusiasm of their dreams, in front of them... as I felt the vibes of the what they are experiencing and knowing, that I had did this, only was reiterated to myself this evening, as I received the brochure of the first event. As I looked it over and I realized that because I've not crashed, I've not caved and I've not given into the evils of the world and that I've followed my hearts desires to the fullest, I'm now living my dreams. They are NO longer dreams, they are NOW a reality!!! 

This afternoon, I spoke to a friend who's interested in investing in the company -- I don't believe that he was put in my path for false HOPE, I believe he's an angel that was sent to give me more hope!!! 

I'm not saying I'm outta the dark yet, I'm not saying that I'm a millionaire, I'm not saying that I don't need any more help -- I'm saying:

I'm FREE!!!!!

Finally, for the first time in my life, I'm whole, inside and out!!! I'm able to do whatever it is that I was meant to do and that with God's help, I will make a difference in this world.

I didn't give up, I don't plan on giving up and I'm only becoming stronger in my faith and spirituality. The universe and I are now connected, it's time to keep working on me and the children, all the while my business and in the time line I set out to achieve the impossible, it'll be. Not because of me, but because of my faith and the guidance I've had over the years.

Here's to the beginning of the rest of my life.

I'm completely overwhelmed with gratitude, even though tomorrow my phone might be shut off and honestly, I've no idea how I'm gonna get gas in the vehicle. I know -- that with
God's help -- it'll all work out and even better, it's gonna be the imaginable. 

Honestly, all of those who never believed, walked away or allowed me to intimidate you, I hope you stayed long enough to see the miracle unravel!! Because it's FINALLY my time!!!! HOLD on .. because it's gonna get Phenomenally AMAZING, BRIGHT and you WILL need sunglasses!!

( To those of you that stuck it out - stayed by my side - or pushed me farther with love... you'll be welcomed with open arms into my jet plane !! LOVE YOU and THANK YOU heart emoticon )

Faith without works is Dead

We are on the BROAD HIGHWAY

Live and Let Live

Make it happen

Be the Change

#OnwardToEPIC

#MommaLori has only started 

H4H Ribbon Cutting Ceremony

As we walk into the lobby of the Chamber of Commerce, there stands a group of individuals, mostly in dresses and suits. All very professional individuals, who all turn around as we approach them, to recognize who we are and begin to explain what we will be doing and the next steps.

Then, I'm requested to be introduced to the individuals as I begin to hand out my business cards and begin making new acquaintances and associates for future business opportunities. Just as I'm about to head over to another portion of the folks in attendance, we need to head outside for the picture and the cutting of the ribbon.

We stand outside and I'm directed as to how it will proceed and then we joke around for a few minutes....

We take a few practice shots and we are handed the certificate... 

Then it's time to cut the ribbon and the final picture....

As we all begin to head inside, I'm chatting with another entrepreneur and beginning the networking that I know all to well and am thoroughly enjoying myself. This actually continued inside as well, for it was more of a gathering to connect and take time to introduce my new business. I was able to give a brief description of our services and also make a few people turn their heads and throw out few smiles. Only noticing how many heads I was able to make turn, the men began in to make fun and enjoy themselves. Which make it even more light hearted and fun -- which is the exact way that we would rather have it.

Upon returning home, for I needed to make sure that I took the opportunity to stop and hang a few fliers while I was out, I was able to replenish my social media and share my wonderful afternoon with those that I choose to surround myself with today. For it's those individuals that have helped me to create this amazing opportunity and allowed myself to make mistakes, as well as live my life by learning my lessons with less harshness and more love.

My phone is still ringing and the messages still continue to come in, as well as the emails from the small gathering with the Chamber. This is the beginning of the opening of the business and now it's time to begin  all the collaboration on the advertising for the business and creating more work for the #Hawties on going.

However, the simple fact is this:

Twenty years ago when I began in recovery, you'd never, NOT ONE MINUTE, had have convinced me that I would be opening my own model and talent agency filled with phenomenally fit and gorgeous men!! NOR would you have had convinced me that they would have been attracted to who I am today to want to work with me to help them to achieve their dreams and next levels of success!! I'm beyond ecstatic and full of wonderful emotions today, that I never realized would occur!! The empowerment that I felt today, just with a simple ribbon cutting ceremony, was beyond what I had imagined. Only for the simple fact that, I did this!! I'm actually pretty proud of myself and extremely humbled that people look to me for help with their lives and livelihood, as well as the trust and willingness to allow me to help them to achieve their dreams.

I'm utterly grateful to be where I am today,  even though I'm struggling with having almost nothing I'm 100% full with everything inside. It seems as though the sayings of having to let go of  everything to begin again are nothing shy of the truth!!

It's with  Faith, Honesty, Open Mindedness, Willingness and HOPE that I'm able to be here today, for with out my Higher Power and those around me, the hard work, dedication and determination to do better, this would NOT be my life!!! 

THANK YOU
For #MommaLori never would have appeared if it were not you all believing

#HawtiesForHire #H4H #OnwardToEPIC #Agency

May Day Baskets

We'd get off the bus and find ourselves extremely excited to drop them off at the their doorsteps.
We'd be full enthusiasm as we knew we were planning on dropping them off and just running away after ringing their doorbells. We'd be full of giggles and little laughter that would warm our souls, for we knew that we'd be dropping something off that would cheer them up and they would even show us the joy with a hug and some much needed attention, by inviting us into their home. We'd work hard on them in school and we couldn't wait to deliver them. 

We'd set them down, ring the doorbell and run away.
We'd hide around the house corner, chucking and giggling the entire time, waiting for them to open the door and watch them grab the baskets, looking around, pretending not to see or hear us. 

We'd watch them close the door and just laugh out loud, thinking to ourselves that we were soooo sneaky and we had accomplished the "MAY DAY Baskets" goal!!

The next day, I'd stop over, as I always did, for their home was so inviting, yet I was so scared to get anything dirty or touch anything,  for I didn't want to break anything.
I'd be invited in with a such a warm welcome and smile, from my Great Aunt Florence and hear Great Uncle Henry in the background, asking who was here to visit.
I remember the clock on the wall, tick tock, tick tock, tick tock and the sun would shine just right in the living room to brighten up the yellowish tones in their home. The smell of their home, was of an older home, yet so very lived in, that no matter what tried to erase that smell, it still would prevail. 

They would ask me if I knew who dropped off baskets the day before and I would just smile. Then they would offer me some  candy and invite me in to sit down. They would ask me if I would like to play a game of rummy with them, for they knew that my great grandmother would always play it with me. They would ask me if I wanted a glass of water or some juice,  to cool me off from playing outside. 

They didn't offer much, yet it meant the world to me. For in today's world  it seems that we seem to forget the simple gestures that feel SO INCREDIBLY wonderful to our souls. We forget how amazing it felt to be held as a small child, or how it felt so incredible for our grandparents to just give us a simple and we immediately felt like everything would be OK. We forget how phenomenal the smallest gestures mean and feel, until they are gone. We take for granted the little moments that created those 'home' like feelings. We take for granted the simplest little items or signs that we seen while we were grown up that made everything in the world OK, because when you experienced them, you were comforted and through that moment, you soul was brought to a peace. 

Today, I have a clock that makes alot of noise with it's 3rd hand.
Today, I have alot of plants that ease my soul with their living and growth.
Today, I have alot of sunshine in my home.
Today, I give OODLES of hugs.
Today, I stop for the elderly and offer them coffee.
Today, I try not to take my moments for granted.
Today, when I'm shown a small gesture I do my best to return it with all my love.
Today, I'm grateful for the older generation and all that they taught me.
Today, I'm grateful for Rummy.
Today, I miss the old smells and the comforting home of our neighbors and loved ones, Florence and Henry.


Today, I'd give for one of their hugs or gestures, for what they don't know ( or maybe they did ) they helped a lost little girl to find a home within herself that she escapes to alot, especially as an adult. They, that generation, taught me that it's OK to not know the answer, for it's with patience, faith, trust and HOPE that it all works out. It's with knowing that someone did something for you, good or bad, and making it a wonderful experience. They taught me, that no matter how bad I didn't want to be in that place at that moment, it would pass and I would make it through it. They taught me to listen and not speak my mind. They taught me patience is needed for the next move. They taught me to think through my hand of cards, remember what's in the deck and consider the possibilities of what's in  your hand. They taught me alot and as a child, I loved nothing more then spending time in their homes, where it felt like the world could crash down around me and no matter, we'd be OK.

We're in this moment for a reason, much larger then we'd ever imagine, don't take it for granted. You  are here to learn something and even though at this very moment, you may not the exact reason, soak it up, stay present and realize it's the only moment  you have. Live it to the best of your ability, because the next one may not be there.

Happy May Day 

A need for help from the universe

The blog for today is not one of happiness or success, it's not one of joy or laughter, it's actually more of a call out to the entire universe to request for help. Which is very humbling for myself, for today is the day that I need to be directed to the appropriate door to find out how to make my dreams work and also to provide for my children and I. Here's where I step down and put it all out there so that you are able to see what I'm giving up in order to make my dreams come true and also what I've been going to through to make it all  a very successful business.

Fund Me Campaign 

When our family had to experience loss in 2008,  the loss of the marriage,  the loss of our home (foreclosure),  the loss of our monies (bankruptcy) and then the loss of a baby (Partial Molar Pregnancy), we had no idea what would follow. Yet, that didn't mean that I had to make a decision to give up. It meant that I had to make a decision, to move forward, in one way or another. For me, the choice was simple, it was to go on and do with what I had in front of me and make the most out of it. So, what I did was apply fitness and health to my recipe for life as well as work on my insides. It seems at that point in my life, I'd made the right decision, for I've become successful in each of these areas in my life. I've not only dropped over 70 lbs of body fat, went from size 16 to a size 4, had the honor of being a sponsored runner as well as completing 38 road races as well a full marathon and to add to all of that, I also competed in a figure competition.

Yet, it seems that life still occurs and we still need to continue on making decisions, such as losing loved ones and how to handle that process. We've since buried a wonderful cousin, who at 19 years old, was killed in a car accident. We also put down our family pet, Tico, who was with us since Dylan was a baby. This all occured in 2013, as well as a loss for the children, their great grandmother, all  in August of that year.
Following this, we endured the loss of my job at a corporation that I was at for almost 17 years. Between these two losses is when I made the solemn decision to chase all my dreams of being a motivational speaker and author.
In December of this past year, 2014, we lost another dear family member at the age of 50 years. It was my uncle and if anyone was as close to my siblings and I, other then our father, it was him. He was the glue to the family and he held a smile on everyone's face when we didn't know who else to look to for one.

This all leads us up to where I am today. I continued on with my dreams, however, I was given an opportunity like no other, with the chance to open a model and talent agency as well as an event planner. Where I chose to put into place and utilize all the tools that I've encountered over the years, life coaching, mentoring, inspiring, motivation and so on to help all these individuals achieve their next level in life.

However, with this decision, I've also now run out of all of the funding available to help me move forward. The first event is not until  the 23rd of May, 2015 and I'm in need of some help. If this next 20 days do not bring in some funding, we will have to think of the next step. While I'm sitting here asking for help, I'm also packing up our items in our home and making a decision to move into housing that is much cheaper, an area that is a cheaper living area as well as connecting back with my family to hopefully find the help that is needed to keep moving forward. I've also inquired on two part time positions to bring back in some income to not shut the door.

If you have any venues of help or if you know of something that might help continue my dreams and to lift me up to the next level, now is the time that I need to ask for that help. For I've now exhausted my avenues.

Thank you for reading and also may this not stop you from going out to achieve your own dreams, may it show you that if you are moving forward to have the appropriate support other then Faith to move forward.

Here's to another productive day, with tears, smiles, miracles and knowledge that due to the fact that we opened our eyes today, we need to stay grateful!!

Any donations and/or considerations are accepted!!!

My Funding Campaign to keep my dreams rolling

#Gratitude #HELP #FundMe #Dreams #DontQuit #MommaLori #HawtiesForHire #H4H

When the Children Cry

When I was little, music was the only thing that I ever really felt connected too. For it was always there and I could always find a way to sink into it. It was like it was telling my story through the lyrics and the rhythm. It was as though, they knew, they knew exactly what I was going through. As though, they'd been there, or they were there. When I would listen to the '80's music, it hit home.

There were so many songs that all of those bands would sing, however, there were many that stayed with me. The one named: (When the Children Cry by White Lion) I was there - and it's all I wanted was to be able to change the world and do things differently. I didn't want any more children to cry, like I had to, alone, scared and fearful of the next moments in life. All I wanted was things to get better and that I knew that there had to be a way to do so.

Funny thing is --

Lately I've spoken to alot of childhood friends and people that watched my brother and sister grow and no one ever thought we'd make it to where we are today. It was like, literally,  all the odds were against us. Yet, You see -- We did it!! We made the CHANGE!! We are a success from where we came from and through it all, we've learned how to apply the ways we lived into a completely different way. In a way that will impact the world and make a difference.


So if you didn't have any HOPE before, hopefully, this allows for some.

For today, we, my siblings and I, represent a song such as (We ARE the Champions by Queen) !!!

When you fight battles you had no idea how to and you allow yourself to take those wins with  you every single day and you apply the lessons learned, turn things around 100%, you then become a success. For you see, each and everyone of us walk through battles, it's what we do with them in the end that matter most. By choosing to do good, move forward in Faith and do the next 'right' thing, you will succeed.

YOU MATTER 

YOU MAKE A DIFFERENCE 

YOU CAN BE THE CHANGE 

MAKE A DIFFERENCE 

"Don't Leave Before the Miracle Occurs"

I honestly believe that we are given an idea for a reason. I also believe that we are given a passion for a reason. Some of us have different ideas and passions. Some of us are able to put both of them in a very small box inside and let them sit there and never escape. Some of us are OK with allowing them to show through a little here and a little there. Then there are those of us that need to follow through and make these ideas and passion work.  That’s who I am. I’m someone who’s had dreams her whole life and allowed them to be pushed aside, until I realized that there’s only one day to live and that day is today. I was blessed to have been given a glimpse of death, multiple times, as well as watching others put their loved ones into the ground. I was blessed to be robbed of all the ones that I thought loved me, and to feel the emptiness that accompanies the grief that one needs to feel from loss. I was blessed to feel all of these awful feelings, to bring me to the simple fact that we only have today to live.

“We have to make the lives we are to live, the fullest we are able to with what we have. We have to take risks and we need to follow our hearts and the passions we are given or that we find. We have to move forward with what we were given in order to become who we are meant to be.” It’s what I’ve been told for years, through multiple channels and multiple leaders and those that I’ve looked up too. It’s what’s been drilled into my mind for years now and today, I’m living this.

As I sat in the coffee shop today, I was reminded of what was shared on Saturday night, when I received my 20 year medallion. A friend of mine shared: “Lori, you are an inspiration, as you are showing us how to live outside of these rooms. You are following your dreams and doing what you feel as though is your path. You are showing us a new way of life, by applying these principles, one day at a time.”

I was honored to be interviewed today on a dream that has formed into a business. I was able to share with the journalist how I created this new agency and what the reasons behind it were. I was able to share the ideas and the business plan behind it as well. I was able to shed light, on what she thought was something completely different then what I sharing. I was able to be offered up a chance to share with the local world what the business is all about and how it will help others in their lives today. I was able to remind myself what I’m building is worth every moment of sleepless nights and all the effort and time I’ve spent creating this entity.

I also shared with her how extremely lonely this venture is and how one needs to realize that in order to create the lives they would like to live, they need to be willing to literally give up everything in order to make it become something solid. One needs to have courage, confidence, strength and faith to continue on each day, for there’s so many times that you feel completely defeated, or alone and you are beaten down by those you’d wish were the exact ones that were supporting you. One needs to know that faith is believing in the first step and not worrying about the entire staircase.

I was told that the idea was placed in my head for a reason and the rest of it doesn’t matter. All I need to do is make that idea become reality and the rest of it will work out. There’s not a day that goes by at this point in my life, that I don’t shed a tear, hold either my children or teddy bear and look up at the skies and ask the heavens above to help me through this that moment. There’s not a moment where I don’t want nothing more than to be held and told that this is the right path and you are doing a great thing, all of this will work out and you will be more then OK. There’s not a day that I don’t continue to check in and ask my H.P. if what I’m doing is the right thing or am I completely off track and I’m reminded, very gently and quietly: “Don’t Quit Lori”

Have you ever been so afraid that you don’t even know how you take the next steps? Have you ever wanted to just crawl into a little ball and not move for days? Have you ever been so confident that what you are doing at this very moment is the exact thing you are supposed to be doing, yet you have so much fear of the unknown that you listen to the path that you’ve always wanted and trust the process?

The universe continues to open up opportunities for me and I continue to take them, even the smaller ones, to prove to myself that I’m not wrong and that I’m headed on the right path and that with every ounce of faith that I have is being utilized to keep moving forward. The people that believed have lingered away and there stands only a few. The people that never believed have begun to try to create stronger ripples to shut me down. The ones that I’ve allowed close to me, are but two or three.

The path I’m on is very, very lonely. Only showing me that I’m doing the right things, for people only hand out when they are able to see the future and are comfortable. Those that do not understand risk, allow the unknown or are OK with whatever occurs in this world, are not on my path any longer. Which is OK. It’s just difficult, lonely and hard…it doesn’t mean that were I’m going isn’t exactly where I want to be, it means that this is the part where we wait for the miracles from all the footwork and we don’t give up, because we are on the brink of something completely EPIC.

If you give up – you will never know if it was possible or not. Do NOT leave before the miracle occurs.