Their beauty
Their intelligence
Their personalities
Their hugs
Their kisses
Their laughter
Their tears
Their conversations
Their growing pains
Their lessons
Their present, past and future
Its the night before I step on stage for my first figure body building competition and I laid here for a while before choosing to write. I laid here, listening. Listening to two souls that have never hurt me. Listening to two little angels that have relied on me since birth. Listening to the reason I need to step on that stage tomorrow night.
When I was a little girl, I wished, hoped and prayed for someone to love me. I wanted someone to listen to me play, to my ideas, to read to me before bedtime, to tuck me in, to tell me what was right or wrong. I wanted someone to hold me when I was hurt. I wanted someone to come to my activities, so when I looked up, I seen them there. I wanted someone to show me what it was like to finish something other then a drink, drug or to not break someones heart. I wanted someone to call when I was lost. I wanted someone to know that I was scared. I wanted someone to say they were proud of me. I wanted ...... alot when I was a little girl and it had absolutely nothing to do with money.
My children were not placed in my journey to relive my childhood -- my children were placed in my journey for me to love them. So, I do. To my best ability and today I've realized that one of the ways that I show them love is to involve them into everything I do and that's alot of being an athlete.
Today they come with me to the store for my food prep items, they watch me complete a food prep, they know that I need to get to the gym to train, they also know that no matter what happens, I'll drop all that I'm doing when they need me. They know that no matter what happens, I'll finish my goal with putting them first.
My children are my reason I will step on that stage tomorrow. Are they going to see me grab first place, highly unlikely. What they will see is someone who they love complete a goal she signed up for last year, who put everything she could with what she had into her goal and finish it. They will see that no matter how scared you are, you follow through. That no matter how much you want to run away, you never give up. YOU do exactly what you SAID you would DO.
My life is full.
My life is busy.
My life is what works for me and for me, my children come first. No one ever did that for me. I'm able to do that for someone else ( TWO OF THEM ) and I'm able to show them how to live life to the fullest all the while following your goals and dreams, no matter what.
My life is not lived FOR my children, My life is lived for me and while I live for me I'll raise my children to the best of my ability through love. Love for myself and for them.
I'm absolutely blessed with the most amazing gift of children. I'm even more blessed to be able to raise them on my own and to know that everything I've given to them is completely priceless through love. I'm blessed to be able to give to them what I missed when I was a child and that no matter what happens, I did the best I was able to... all the while taking care of myself.
Here's to an EPIC life through love.
#ONWARDTOEPIC
