Create Ripples

As I sat there today, she looked at me with awe and wonder as I shared my story to her. She smiled and said that she couldn’t wait for me to tell her more as she listened in silence. She shared with me that no matter what I think, I’m making a difference. She shared with me that it’s not our place to sit in pity but to know others and to meet more souls. She shared with me that life has a different perspective today, for she’s survived cancer three times now. She shared with me how her perspective changed over each time and each time she grew stronger, not physically, but spiritually and mentally. She shared with me it’s not about anything other than the people that she chooses to surround herself with.

As I sat there today, I looked into her teary eyes and knew that she felt lost. I see the pain and desperation to change her thinking and a desire to get out of the sadness, the cold and pain that surrounded her, I seen a little girl that only wanted to know it was going to be OK. She was 48 and she was sharing how she felt lost, tired and alone in this transition from cancer to recession. She shared with me how she never did anything by herself, but knew she needed to be in this program. She knew that she belonged here. I shared with her my story, we laughed and smiled and shared with her what I’ve learned and tried to comfort her with my wisdom and knowledge, knowing full well it’s going to take her time to believe me. Yet, also realizing that no matter happens tomorrow, she showed up today.

Those were two examples of cancer survivors that I sat with today.

Those are two stories of two miracles that I was able and honored to spend time with today.

Those are the stories and souls that keep me moving through to my next venture and that my dreams are not that far off, for what I know I’m supposed to do in this world is not to fix you, not to change

you but to help you realize that you are worth it!! My passion and dream is to prove to you that anything is possible, no matter what you face, that this too shall pass and that this is all temporary. My dreams are to help you realize that we only have this moment and that this moment is what we need to embrace. My dreams are to share with the world my hardships, trials and tribulations and show you that no matter what happens or occurs in life, YOU ARE WORTH IT. You are worth everything you dream and hope for. My dream is for you to realize that loving yourself is the best thing in this world and that by doing so you will be able to love everyone around you and then some!!

I sit with people on a daily basis now, not with a big paycheck in my account, not with material items around me, not with a nice window office, not with a limo or nice car, not with new clothes or even all my bills paid, but I’m full of life and I’m also able to say that what I’m doing today is completely priceless. These souls that I sit with each day need another soul and I’m honored and privileged to have been chosen to be the one that begins that process for so many of them. By allowing others to live and help them choose a healthier path, my heart grows, my spirit is full and my soul is at peace. I know that by doing what I’m doing, God has chosen a much brighter path for me and I’m able to know, deep inside, that no matter what happens tomorrow, everything will be OK.

By keeping life simple, spreading love, sharing my experience, strength and hope, my world continues to open up opportunities and rays of sunshine that I wasn’t able to feel or see previously. By allowing my spirit to be driven by my higher power, my life is much calmer, happier and at peace, for today, I’m making a difference. 

*You can’t keep what you have if you don’t give it away*

By showing others that there's a different way to live, you give hope. Sometimes quickly, Sometimes slowly. Just don't give up, for it's not your time you are on.

Yesterday is gone, Tomorrow is not promised and Today is a Gift. 

The Dash

​I read of a man who stood to speak
at the funeral of a friend.
He referred to the dates on the tombstone
from the beginning…to the end.

He noted that first came the date of birth
and spoke the following date with tears,
but he said what mattered most of all
was the dash between those years.

For that dash represents all the time
that they spent alive on earth.
And now only those who loved them
know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not, how much we own,
the cars…the house…the cash.
What matters is how we live and love
and how we spend our dash.

So, think about this long and hard.
Are there things you’d like to change?
For you never know how much time is left
that can still be rearranged.

If we could just slow down enough
to consider what’s true and real
and always try to understand
​the way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger
and show appreciation more
and love the people in our lives
like we’ve never loved before. 

If we treat each other with respect
and more often wear a smile,
remembering that this special dash
might only last a little while.

​So, when your eulogy is being read,
with your life’s actions to rehash…
would you be proud of the things they say
about how you spent YOUR dash?

Needs verses Wants

She asked me: “Do you have everything you need to live comfortably?”
I responded: “So, you mean, things like milk, eggs and toilet paper, right?”

It’s become more and more evident to me that the needs in life much more exceed the wants, actually the weight of them are much heavier than the wants. Yet, when we have such a life set up as to where we have a lot of the wants and take for granted the needs, we seem to get lost in what we really need verses what we really want. 

Though as the holidays are moving through this year, it’s not all about the wants for the children and me, it’s more about the needs. It’s more about wiping the tears and about holding each other and letting each other know that no matter what we are here for one another. It’s not about what will be under the tree, yet more about what will be in our tummies and on our backs for the holiday upcoming for us. The children wish to be near to me and my family for they know that the years past we’ve lost a lot and it’s not only the jobs or the lack of funds, but it’s more of the love that has moved through our hands and into the universe. It’s the love that we are missing and the hugs that we need to make it through another day.

When one is faced with  hardships, they don’t really sit and think of how to make the ‘wants’ appear, for they are more concerned about the ‘needs’ and how to make sure that they are met. They are not worried about what others think or the pressures that are profound for the other sources in the world. They are more focused on what is in front of them and how they will fulfill the voids that are there, yet to make sure it’s all done in a simple but kind way.

To live in a healthy mannerism when there’s hardships in front of you, it’s a very difficult task to keep your focus on becoming a better person and to keep the heart in the right place. Yet, by listening to the good verses the evils, the world becomes a brighter place. By surrendering to another day and to another obstacle, one becomes stronger and sees more of the light then when they struggle through the situations.

When one stays open minded and willing to try something new in this world, the doors continue to open up an the opportunities continue to flow through to the souls and spirits. When one continues to stay honest, the heavens open up and they drop down nothing but greatness.

Today I had many experiences and one of them was actually a memory of a drive that my ex-husband and I made many times together and what has occurred since those drives. The time that has passed and the pain and healing that has occurred since that time. The reality of life hitting hard at times and then the passing of pain as this journey moves forward. The comfort of knowing that that was a memory and at one time that was not anything that was ‘wanted’ but yet it was something that was needed, it feels relieving that time has healed those wounds. It’s comforting knowing that through all the trials and tribulations that the faith that has been created to know that this too shall pass has only strengthened from when my life started. It’s comforting to know that no matter what happens, there will always be memories, not all tied to good and not all tied to bad feelings, but something to always know where I came from and how I treated the situations. It’s comforting knowing that through it all I’ve grown and realized what a ‘want’ is and what a ‘need’ is. For today, I don’t need to allow my emotions run my life and that the things that are needed are able to outweigh the wants. Which in turn, mainly turns into love more than items and through those feelings and actions of love are so much stronger than any want will ever be able to fill.

I’m not going to lie or try to cover up the fact that I’m missing a few people in my life today and I’m missing having the security of a full time job, or even that I’m missing knowing that tomorrow will be something wonderful…though I’m going to share with you that I honestly believe that no matter what God will not let me down and that no matter what it will all be OK.
For nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God’s world by mistake. There’s a reason for everything. 

Only in the darkness can you see the STARS ( MLK )

There is a solution. Almost none of us liked the self-searching, the leveling of our pride, the confession of shortcomings which the process requires for its successful consummation. But we say that it really worked in others, and we had to come to believe in the hopelessness and futility of life as we had been living it. When, therefore, we were approached by those in whom the problem had been solved, there was nothing left for us but to pick up the simple kit of spiritual tools laid at our feet. We have found much of heaven and we have been rocketed into a fourth dimension of existence of which we had not even dreamed.
The great fact is just this, and nothing less: That we have had deep and effective spiritual experiences which have revolutionized our whole attitude toward life, toward our fellows and toward God’s universe. The central fact of our lives today is the absolute certainty that our creator has entered into our hearts and lives in a way which is indeed miraculous. He has commenced to accomplish those things for us which we could never do by ourselves.

For you see, the life that I live isn’t one that’s easy. It’s one that takes courage to live, to continue on, to move through day by day, to agree to move through each moment and to know that no matter what, everything WILL be OK. It’s not a life that I signed up for, it’s a life that I was given and that’s a gift that not many are able to say they were handed. Not many are able to say that they have had the experiences, adventures, losses, gains, successes, failures, love, hate and all that’s in between all of those included in their lives prior to being 40 years old. Not many are able to say that they’ve hit bottom, twice, and then completely turning their life around 180 degrees and making a new life for themselves. Not many are able to stand there and tell you that they are human, they mess up and they will make more mistakes, yet continue to get back up and be who they know they are meant to be. Not many will tell you that they have lived this life long enough to know that to live without regret is the ONLY way to live. Not many will tell you that they follow their own hearts to the end of the world and back again. Not many will tell you that they drained their entire life savings to try something only they believed in. Not many will tell you that tomorrow is not a promise, yesterday is gone and today is the actual GIFT.

I’ve been given a gift, a gift to live life differently through the grace of my higher power and a program that extremely simple yet, we as humans, complicate the hell outta it. I’ve been given a clear mind to see that I have a choice, a choice to continue through this wonderful dimension or to sit still and stay in misery. I’ve been given a new day to make a difference. I’ve been blessed, beyond doubt, with a chance to help others change their lives, all alone by spreading HOPE while living the life I’ve been handed. I’ve been honored to be able to share my experience, strength and hope with the world so that they are able to know that they are not alone and through whatever it is that they are dealing with, there’s always something better coming.

In 1996, I read the above two paragraphs at my 1 year celebration of recovery. I was 19 years old and I was starting my life over, with a fellowship, no family and completely lost to the world ahead. I was beginning a way of live I’d never been introduced to until I was 18 years old. I was going to make something of myself and I was going to break old messages and traditions that created the world I was leaving behind. It’s now 2014 and I’m 38 years old and I’ve done all of the above and then some. Yet, now I am not doing it all for me anymore, now I do it for two beautiful angels I’ve been blessed with. 

The road has been less than easy this far, actually, it’s been one hell of a ride and honestly, I’d not wish the road I’ve traveled upon anyone. For everything that has occurred has created a woman that is strong, courageous, fearless, selfless and will bend over backwards for those she loves all the while taking care of herself, she is a woman that is wonderful mother who  believes in showing her children not to rely upon others to live, yet to ask for help and who believes that by showing them how to live without regret all the while  pushing herself to the ultimate limits all the while without chemicals in her system, creates a world unknown to many but imaginable to most.

While we are closing out yet another year, the lessons came hard and the teachers weren’t the nicest to myself, yet the knowledge taken forth is priceless. The year will end and the next shall follow with only more chapters and more to learn. All the while, there’s so many people to help and so many to touch with  the way we choose to live life, yet the ones that matter most are the ones that are right next to you. Those, those are the ones that need you 100% of the time. Those are the ones that you need to focus on. The rest of them will follow and you will  be able to show them that by loving yourself,  your neighbor and the ones that love you, the way of the world is able to change.



“Faith in the first step is all we need, for the rest of the staircase doesn’t matter without the first step” 

Calm the enemy within and the Enemy without doesn't stand a chance

When you read my stories and adventures you need to always remember, these are mine. They may or may not be ‘right’ yet they are what have happened in my life and they all happened for a reason. Whether I liked them or not, that’s not the reason I share them with you. I share them with you so that you realize that people, at any stage in their lives, are people. We are all human and we all experience life. It’s what we do with those experiences that matter most.

I've been blessed with SO Many wonderful  experiences this year !!!!! 

Today I reflect back on all that has occurred in my past year. Instead of looking at all the negatives I want to lean in on the positives, yet if it were not from the negatives, I’d not be able to have the positives.

My year started off, well knowing that my career with the company that I was at for almost 17 yrs, was going to be ending soon, yet I continued through the training for a figure competition that I had signed up for. The training was intense, required determination, time and attention, yet it was the best thing that I could have ever done for myself. For it pushed me to limits I’d never imagined that I had inside. It helped me to know that I’m able to face unknown fears with the utmost integrity and that no matter how difficult life seems, there’s ALWAYS a brighter side!!! 

In March, I was laid off and given a huge wakeup call along with all the emotions that go hand in hand with losing a job. Grief was a process well known to myself, yet still so foreign.

In May, I competed as a figure competitor and challenged every inch of my soul on a stage with many other beautiful women, while being judge and completely vulnerable in front of not only myself, but my entire family.

The beginning of June, I took another wild adventure and signed up with a well-known photographer and went a step farther with my growing business and created some amazing photos. Which, was another stretch for me as I’ve always had to work on thinking I was ‘beautiful’ yet after I shot that photo shoot I gained even more confidence than the competition and the rest of life had created for me.

In June, I was able to enjoy a WONDERFUL vacation with my children and my sister’s family in

Portland Oregon. For the first time in many years, I was able to connect with my baby sister and how comforting it felt to have that connection.

In July, there were more local photo shoots as well as some video footage that was captured, to continue on with what I’d created through the training and work for the competition. During this

month I also began a relationship with a man who I’ll never forget, for he only showed me that love is still possible and adventure is allowed to go with that.

In August, I was gifted and blessed to join a team where we traveled to Chicago to train and work with not only the Mayo Clinic but also the phenomenal program, LiveSTRONG, and begin to integrate it into the local YMCA.

I was also honored and privileged to travel to NYC to experience a Red Carpet event and meet the entire team that works on The Platform Magazine!! It was an EPIC adventure and I’ll never forget it, as well as only hope for more Red Carpet Events. From NYC, I traveled to Colorado for more adventures and to see more of the exceptional views of God’s land.

 There were actually many trips to Colorado between August and November, to share not only with my spirit and soul but also with my children. We we’re all very blessed to have been given the opportunities to see so many wonderful designs from God.

In September, I was honored to be requested as a judge for the Fit and Fabulous Mom’s Contest in Boca Raton, Florida. This was an amazing event for it shared with me that no matter what your venue in life is, you are able to achieve the impossible. It was exciting to see all the beautiful women get on stage and show off all the work that they put into changing their lives and becoming more.

In November, I had to face a ‘break up’ and it wasn’t the easiest ordeal to overcome,  nor will I ever feel as though there was complete closure, yet, what doesn’t break you makes you stronger and this I KNOW is true.

In December, I’ve been blessed to end my year with a conference to complete the training for the LiveSTRONG program and to begin the plans for a solid initiation into the local YMCA. We traveled to St. Louis MO and had a fabulous time enjoying yet, my last trip for the year.

So you see – there were many upsets in my world this year, yet through them all, I’ve grown and realized that I need to rely on Faith and continue to work on myself and my spirituality. For Its within that matters most, for the enemy will not harm you when the enemy within is calmed.

To all who touched my heart this year, I’ll be forever grateful, for if it wasn’t for you coming into my world, I’d  not be who I am today nor would I have the experience I have had which would never have led to my wisdom and knowledge to move on with this journey here on earth.

Letting go isn't easy and no one ever said it had to be

It’s a dream.
There’s no way this is real.

We both thought it, shared it and he’d continue to tell me that it wasn’t a dream. He would say: “Lori this is real. I’m real. This is not a dream.” He would look at me and smile, I didn’t have someone look at me like that for years and it felt so good. I’d tell him not to smile at me like that and he’d ask me, like what?

As we stopped at a grocery store, my first visit, he threw me over his shoulder and acted like a complete kid in a candy store. It was as though we were high schoolers, only better, because we knew right from wrong and yet we allowed it to all just flow. We were even walking through the store, trying to figure out what to grab to eat and I was oblivious having had been on a body builders diet, as to what to grab to eat. He asked me, what do you want, what in this store would you eat if you could? I told him that I’d love some Gushers and Pizza. He threw them in the cart.  As we passed some chocolates, I stopped and stared at them, they were dark chocolate covered caramels with sea salt. He told me that he adored them as well and we walked away. To my surprise, he had a whole bucket of them at his house, which he fed to me later that night.

There’s so many memories to let go of and to feel. Sleep doesn’t come easy now, nor does eating or getting things done that need to be. I don’t get outta bed early when I don’t have prior obligations. I hate facing the world to tell them that he chose to walk away, not because they don’t deserve to know, but because I don’t want to move on!!!

I took a chance, a risk, to love again. Did I do it the ‘right’ way, probably not, but it was what my heart told me. I didn’t stop my heart from loving him.  I didn’t stop the world from letting it happen. I went with the eb and flow. I was able to live a dream that hardly any woman really knows. I’ll be able to write a novel from the ‘first’ moments we experienced. I don’t regret what happened, I don’t regret one minute. Would I have done a few things differently, not entirely sure, because I was real with him and I honestly believe that he was honest with me. I’d never been so comfortable with any man that fast in my entire life. What we had was in the cards and it was EPIC.

Letting go is a very hard process. There’s many levels to it and I previously wrote of acceptance, yet there forgiveness, anger, sadness and many more emotions that go with this process. Unfortunately, just like creating something wonderful with someone takes a life time, letting go takes time as well. Today, it’s not an easy process. Not when he’s on my mind every moment of every day. The memories of him and what he brought to my world, are not leaving my soul easily and honestly, I jump when I hear the door or the phone. Only hoping that maybe, just maybe, my dream didn’t have to end so soon.

A break up won’t kill you.
A break up isn’t easy.
A break up is a part of life.
A break up is real.
A break up will make you stronger.

A break up shows you how to handle the end of something, a lesson.

A break up will allow you to grow and become more.

The next man in my life has a hell of a pedestal to crawl up on. He’s going to have to know how to grab me and kiss me with all the passion in the world, challenge me to the ends I don’t know, listen to me and all my babbling, push through when I shut down, offer me help, offer others help, care for my children as though they are his, make me smile, surprise me, and show me that there’s still love in this world.

Damn it, Mr. B ….. I want to tell you that it’s getting easier, but it’s not. I want to tell you that I’m moving on, and I’m trying, but it’s not going so well.  I want you to know that I’m OK, but I cry A LOT!! A family member said to me the other day: “Lori, you need to not fall so hard so fast” and I disagree. The ones I fall for, bring so much joy to my life and memories that only are etched in my soul forever and those memories, I’ll keep. For it’s when I need to smile that I remember them…especially the very first one where I rode the escalator and seen you for the very first time.

Here’s to letting go …. And the next chapter, after I heal from this one.

let her go by passenger  

How lucky I am to have had something so wonderful that it's hard to say Goodbye ( A closure letter )

I’d like to tell you that I’m writing to you about some amazing adventure or something magical, yet instead I’m going to write to you about the angel that stepped into my life, not too long ago, that I’ve written of multiple times and hope that he is able to read this in its entirety. For it’s not that this a closure, but more of an opening to another chapter that’s awaiting to be written for the two of us as we move forward in life.

My soul earned for someone to lay next to me, not because of what they seen in my physique, but because they wanted to be next to me to show  me that love still existed in all ways that I had imagined in my dreams since I was a little girl. My body ached for someone to hold me, with all the passion in the world and to feel them against me with every inch of their soul wanting more of me. My inner self longed for someone to make me laugh, from pure enjoyment and being silly together. My spirit wanted to be alive, with someone wanting the exact same thing at the exact same moment. For me, wanting someone to want me, was more powerful than any intimate action in this world and Mr. B was able to prove to me that it’s possible. Every piece of it. It’s all possible. He gave me that glimpse of hope, which I only thought was in a book or a movie. He gave to me what no one else has been able to give to me and for that I’ll be eternally grateful.

The romance that had been created by us has come to an end, for it seems as though that chapter is now over and it’s time to move onto the next one. It seems as though the page has turned and the seasons are different now, yet it doesn’t mean that hope does not exist. It does not mean that the impossible is not possible, for that would be a lie. The impossible is still possible, just not in this moment of our lives. There are many souls out there that create magic when they meet and I was able to experience this wonderful feeling with Mr. B and even though that relationship had to come to close, it leaves with me a deep understanding of something I’d only ever imagined.

As I move through life, there’s so many lessons that I’ve learned and one of the main ones is, that to each person, we all have a different path to live. It’s not one that is meant to hurt others, it’s meant for us to be true to ourselves and take care of the most important person, which is ourselves. At the moment, when we take care of ourselves, others don’t want to accept the fact that we need to do so,  yet in time, all wounds heal and we all grow from each experience that is brought into our lives. We are all able to learn from each other, so many lessons, and by stepping out of one’s self and into acceptance, live seems to flow much easier. Life seems to throw things in front of us that derail us for a while, yet if we face them with simple steps such as acceptance, love and patience, we all heal and learn. We even become better people, for it’s in those steps we learn our true strength. The strength that is buried so deep within some of us, yet when it is found and applied to life, we are able to achieve the impossible.

There’s no negative feelings that this relationship has ended, the exact opposite is there for me today. For without the past time I’ve spent with this wonderful man, I learned more of what I want in life and what I’m looking for in a partner. I’ve learned what I’m not able to accept as well as what I’m able to apply to my life or even what I will go through for the ultimate success in a relationship. I’ve learned a lot already and I’m still healing. Through the pain is where the growth and lessons will continue to evolve and for that, I’ll be eternally grateful.

There’s good men out there for us women who are broken. I’m confident of it. Though they will appear when we least expect it and we need to continue to stay open minded and willing to accept the entire time spent with them while they are in our lives, for tomorrow is never guaranteed and yesterday has passed.

Mr. B if you are reading this – know you will always hold a special place in this lady’s heart and you will always be known for the phenomenal experiences we had, the moments you touched my heart and the flowers that blossomed in my soul while you were in my life. Please, always stay safe, give many hugs, always hold doors for strangers and never lose your spontaneity. Most of all à THANK YOU!! 

My Own Super Hero

The heavens opened up and sent me an angel.

My own Super Hero…

This man that’s come into my life, not only takes the time to listen he takes the time to learn about me and what’s going on inside of me. He doesn’t want things to fester and bother me, he hears it in my voice when things are ‘wrong’ and he calls me on it. He wants to know how I operate, why I do things, how I make it through and what I have coming up next. He makes plans for our future and involves those that are most important in our lives. He doesn’t want anyone to feel left out and he doesn’t want me to go through more pain and turmoil to get to where we’d like to be. He slows me down, where I need to look at the bigger picture and he steps out of the way when he needs too. He teaches me that selfishness is a way of life, not an asset. He shows me that the way a father is to a daughter is how I wished my father would have been to me. He asks me how I want to be treated and he works on applying it to his life. He makes it easy to open up to him, only to allow him to visit my soul while I’ve worked so hard on keeping others out for a very long time.

His job is to save people and to make sure that others are safe from harm. He designates his co-workers as a family, not colleagues. He knows that no matter what, he needs to learn more to help more. He takes the initiative to create a better world, one small step at a time, even if it means he has to give up more of his wants and desires. He works long hours for those he loves and he doesn’t complain about what he has to do next, he follows through and does it. There’s no mountain too high for him, no venture too large for him, no adventures too scary for him, there’s no fear he’s not willing to push through and create something better. He doesn’t consider himself a hero or an angel, with humility he takes his life with a pride that is unknown to many, yet looked up by millions. He creates opportunities for those that have less then and does what he’s able to apply for them.


The man that I describe is who I’ve fallen in love with and the best part of it all is that he wants me as much as I want him, in my life.  The hard part is that I’m not sure when we’ll be able to implement it 100%, yet the goal is to work towards creating a family and making this dream more of a lifestyle then something we all read about. Until then, we work on what we can … one day at a time…

creating a better life for those around us and knowing that we both exist for each other.

There’s more to this story then we realize, yet for me at this moment, it’s my HOPE and DREAM that it doesn’t end today, tomorrow or anywhere near those.

Never stop dreaming – Dreams come true and Miracles do Occur

He's my missing puzzle piece

He called me multiple times that day, yet it was the one phone call that lasted for a time that seemed like an eternity…..

He asked me why I was up late and what I was doing or thinking and I started to share with him all my dreams and goals. I went into how I was about to lay out my next plan of action, the steps that needed to be taken, the actions that needed to be put into place and the materials that were going to be needed. I shared how I was thinking of completing it all and the time line that I had in front of me. I shared my fears, I shared how I thought the universe had heard me and how I felt that the timing of everything was lining up just the way it was suppose. I shared with him when I made the decisions that I made, the events that followed were a sign that I believe that I had made the right decisions. I shared with him how I was able to make the last decision with his help, for he laid out the choices for me and helped me to see through each of them and what may or may not happen if I took either one.

Then I went into how I thought through how I could help him with his small business and the steps to make it something great. How we could work together to create what he started into something larger. How if we sat down, trouble shooted and brainstormed together, what we could create in time.

I honestly believe: 

“IF the dream was placed there, it’s achievable. You’ll be faced with decisions that will need to be made, yet as you make the ones that steer you towards the dream, the doors will be opened, the people will be placed appropriately and the opportunities will appear. Follow your dreams.” 

Mr. B. has been placed in my journey for more than a love story, he’s also been placed in my journey to help me succeed in the dreams that I’ve longed for since I was a little girl. Not the ones that I applied for society purposes or traditions, but for my soul and my entire being. To help me continue on the direction that I need to continue on to achieve complete success in what I was placed here on this journey to accomplish. He’s part of the missing puzzle and he was placed in my journey for so many other reasons, yet, I believe he arrived when he was meant to. He arrived when I was strong enough to not only continue to love myself, my children but also him all the while following my heart and soul in all that I dream in my life. 

That day, he not only listened, but he asked me questions and threw out ideas. He walked me through different scenarios and helped me to see things in a different light. He was 100% in attendance to the conversation and applied his full attention all that I shared. He didn’t spend that conversation in another activity, he wanted to hear what I wanted to achieve in life, how I wanted to get there and support me 100% to create the impossible.

People appear in our journeys for a reason. We don’t always know why or do we even realize the full

picture until it’s too late. We don’t always tell them how important they are to our journeys, even if it was a painful experience, we always learn from those in our lives. They are placed there for a reason and it’s up to us to stop and thank them for the lessons that we learn. Just don’t wait to long to thank them. I still have some people to thank, for if they’d not have appeared in my life the way that they did, I’d not be who I am today.

Mr. B has made a major impact on my life, to this point. It’s obvious to most and to the universe, he needs recognition. For the impossible isn’t possible without those special angels placed in front of us. Today, he’s an angel that was placed in front of me, hopefully by the angels above and even if he’s gone tomorrow (which if that happens, I’ll break for a lil while, BTW) I’ll be eternally grateful. If he sticks around, I’ll do everything in my power to help him create a successful life as well.

Thank you for calling, Mr. B, but more importantly, thank you for supporting me in all that I do and here’s my message to you saying that I’m extremely grateful you are who you are and even more grateful that you showed up when you did in my journey.

2 days and a wake up until I’m in his arms.

Lori Yokiel Motivational Speaker

#Missing #puzzlepiece #romance #love #fallinghard #heunderstandsme #helistens #mine

It's simple. I miss you.

This past weekend I was able to watch a photo shoot and as I watched, it wasn’t the male included that I yearned for as all I wanted was you, I wanted you to hold me like he held her, I wanted you to be there to turn too and show that radiant smile of yours and tell me, it’s OK, I’m here. I wanted to tell you all about what it felt like while we were shooting the pics or to be the one there to help me with all of my items as I changed for the next set. This was the first event following the last one, where you were able to attend with me, it was as if you’d always been there for all my events and I wanted nothing more than for you to be there to experience it with me.

When I turned my phone back on and the first thing that was sent to me was a text from you and all I wanted to do was to stop the car, call you and tell you all about it. My face lit up when I see that you went to FB to see what the pics were coming out like and what the activity was in my world. To be able to come home and sit and share with you my whole day, as you listened so intensively, felt so soothing. It felt as though I was a young girl, all over again, sharing my day with someone who actually wanted to hear.

Then to follow it up, today with another long conversation with you about how my mind operates when it’s going mock 5, with all my ideas and the goals and steps that I have planned out to create a successful future, made my weekend.

You always ask me what the best part of my day was and today my day was complete, for my daughter returned home, my son and I laughed through the Goonies and you called and spent time with me in conversation. A lot of times, it’s so hard to dissect my day down to ONE single best thing, because today I have THREE people who are my world now. It’s as though, you’ve been the piece of the puzzle we’ve been missing.



I’m not the only that thinks this way, when the home line rings and your name appears, we all jump a little bit here at our home. We know that you care and that you are reaching out to show us, by a

simple act of calling. I’m not sure people understand that simple act and what it means to each of us. Funny thing is, since you’ve came into my life, I’ve picked up the phone more and more and less texting and messaging. You’re already having an impact on my life and not one bit of it is negative.

At night I read, Fifty Shades, and for a while it was soothing for my soul. Though, now, it seems it’s becoming more and more difficult to read, only because to go to sleep without you beside me or holding me is definitely not something I’m enjoying. Every time I lay down, my mind reminisces to you holding me and how profoundly comfortable it is to be in your arms. I grab my teddy bear to soothe me and it’s not enough anymore… it takes me some time to fall asleep now, for I need to ask the universe for help for sleep to come over me and calm my mind, knowing full well I’ll be in your arms soon.

Though I do have to say, you’ve helped me learn how to calm down my mind and begin writing and reading all over again. I’ve not endured on such activities in years and it wasn’t until you came around that I was willing to do so. If there’s anything I’d like to have you hear is how much of a exceptional man you are and your soul is pure with an amazing desire to do good in this world and I’ll be forever grateful that you showed up in my life,  Mr. B. 

Here’s to 4 days and a wake up and we are able to hold each other again. 

#grateful #fallinginlovewithyou #romance #missingyou #Colorado #roadtrip #events #youaremyeverything #boyfriend #MINE 

Motivational Speaker and Inspiration

The First Trip Together in Sunny Florida

Long distance relationships are difficult. NO doubt about it, yet, I believe that there’s a reason for them. For me it helps me to get to know the other person as well as learn what it is what we both want out of life, especially where I am in my life today…..Plus, when we are able to see each other, it makes all those moments in between worth it.

The magic that occurred while in Florida with Mr. B, was completely electric. It was something that made an experience extremely memorable. It created a bond between a dream and reality that I didn’t realize was possible.

I didn’t realize that one could have something from a significant other and create a loving, kind, thoughtful and strong relationship all the while working on each other’s dreams. I didn’t realize that there was actually someone out there that would support me in all that I do and believe. I didn’t realize that there were actually men out there that would put their woman first and welcome creating something magical all the while being pleased themselves by allowing it all to occur. So much I didn’t realize…. And more than likely don’t, there’s so much to learn.

Here’s a brief summary of our short visit to Florida and the Fit and Fabulous Contest that I was honored and privileged to judge at:

When arriving in Florida, I was to meet Mr. B in the same terminal to pick up the rental. He immediately requested that we upgrade and I shared with him that the simple zoom zoom car that I’d rented would do just fine. He was not happy with this, as I could plainly see, yet I didn’t want to spend more money than needed. To his benefit, there were issues with my rental process and so he got his way. A red, convertible Mustang it was. I gave up, since it was his choice and he was happy with what he was about to drive away in.

Let’s just say that I’m not going to argue with him on the choice of vehicle again, for it was a great time, while we had the vehicle….not only was it a fun time, adventurous and a new experience to do things with the top down, the best part was seeing how happy he was while he drove it around Florida.

We checked into our hotel, after a short adventure in the convertible and found our sanctuary. For it was the next morning that we needed to get up and see Boca Raton. As the event was that evening and we needed to make sure that we were around in time to prepare. 

He took me to the beach that was near and we didn’t have much time, but the time that we did have, we spent hand in hand. Which is something that I’ve missed dearly over the past decade. To be able to have him next to me, hand in hand, walking along the beach experiencing different sights and experiences is what made the entire time exceptional!! We also took a short drive down A1A ( a highway along the coast of Florida ) and pulled into an empty lot that would sell for around $750K, shared a few dreams and what we would do and then headed back to get ready.

As we prepared for the evening, there were some thoughts that I had about how nice it is to get ready with ‘him’ in the next room. Knowing that we were preparing to go somewhere completely new to the both of us, all the while that we were doing it together. Knowing that no matter what we both were working on ourselves in different views, only to bring it all together at one place in the long run. Knowing that I wasn’t alone that evening and that by having ‘him’ next to me, made it priceless. A dream come true. 

We arrived at the venue, a little bit earlier then what we needed too, so we made ourselves at home and he asked me if I needed anything. He went off and grabbed me some coffee and was back with his perfect smile, beautiful eyes and a warm coffee. He didn’t leave my side, other than to check in on his daughter and to tend to whatever it was that I needed. It was something from out of a dream, really. The contest was amazing!!! There were so many fabulous women that attended and the judges were so AWESOME!! I’d not met anyone in person, prior to this, for these were all the people that I’ve followed for years on my social media and they were that much better in person! It was as though we belonged there, they made it feel so comfortable and it was as though we’d been friends for years!!
(I’ll write another blog of this entire evening, for this was an EPIC adventure and event that all need to hear about)

After the contest we went out with my long lost social media buddy, Eli and his new wife, Amy. We had so many laughs, it was the topping to a great day!! Then he took me back to the hotel, where we were able to chill and relax, for we needed to get some rest as we were headed to Miami in the morning and then we had prior engagements with those from the contest later that night.

Saturday we went down the coast and stopped to see the end of the States, the best we could with the time and resources we had. He really wanted to Jet Ski on the ocean as well, so he insisted on renting one. Off we went to the ocean, together, on a two man Jet Ski. He shared with me one of the highlights of the trip were watching/listening to me, from when I was riding to when I was driving. Of course, I’m a control freak, so it was a lot different when I was in one position to the next. The ride on the ski was pretty neat, an adrenaline rush for sure!! Also, a test of trust… it’s a good thing that when I wanted to drive, he jumped into the ocean, verses me, HA.

We weren’t able to spend much of our time in Miami, for we had to get back for our prior engagements, so we headed back on the interstate. This is where my control issues really came to surface – for I’m not a ‘rider’ when in vehicles and it’s something I really need to work on. He adores to drive and I’m always so damn 

picky about his driving, verses allowing him to drive. Not sure how he puts up with me, but on the other hand, he’s not dumped me yet. There were so many cars to ooohhh and aww at, he was in heaven, especially when that Lamborghini flew by us. Either way, we made it back safely and then we were off for another adventure. A body building competition was in front of our evening and Mr. B. had never been to one, so it was something new for him. Following this event, we were all going out to eat and enjoy our last evening in Boca Raton.

It was a beautiful visit in Florida, yet the best part of it was that he was with me. I do wish that we’d not had to rush through so many things while we were there, yet it was absolutely amazing to have him by my side to experience it all.

Then came the time travel back home and it was almost as though the ‘vaca’ wasn’t ending for he was flying back with me! This was something else that I’ve yearned for over the years, someone to travel with. He was going to travel back with me and surprise his entire family that resides in the same state as I do. Then to top it off, he and his daughter were going to end up at our place to surprise my children with their arrival. 

It was a bit of work to set everything up but it was all worth it, the faces on the children and the feelings of having an actual ‘family’ setting again, made everything that I’d ever questioned, disappear. It was extremely comfortable and I happened to loved every moment!!! There were no nerves, it was like we were all 'home'. Strange, but true. 

I’m not entirely sure if it was the entire time we spent together, in completely foreign spaces together, learning how to get ready together, how to handle new situations together, combining our families or just spending time with him, it all made me realize that this man that found me isn’t a joke. Nor is he a ‘dream’ and that he’s a complete human being that had yet to be found by the right woman.

Now the Question is:

Am I that ‘right’ woman ? 

Falling in love doesn't happen every day

The past 7 years I’ve yearned for someone to want to hold my hand as much as I wanted to hold his. I’ve yearned for someone to want to step out into adventures, with me by their side, as much as I wanted them there. I’ve yearned to walk up and down beaches, go on long walks together, watch sunsets and sunrises together, take long drives together, experience new places and people together. I’ve yearned for someone to want to be there when I woke up as much as wanting me there when they woke up. I’ve yearned for someone to want to hold me as much as I wanted to hold them. I’ve yearned for someone…….

When you appeared in my life I didn’t realize how much you would mean to me in such a short amount of time. I didn’t realize that you were going to appear out of nowhere and mean so much to me, so intensely, so quickly. I didn’t realize that it would feel so good to know that you were there for me, even being over 900 miles away. I didn’t realize that the relationship that we were going to create would calm so many doubts, fears and insecurities within me. I didn’t realize that I would be less interested in the social world and more interested in your communication, wants and desires. I didn’t realize you would mean the world to me in such a short amount of time.

We walked the beaches hand in hand, we took long walks, we took long drives, we experienced new adventures, we met new people, and we went to new places together…. Do you even realize how much of a dream come true you are?? 

We laid there, your arms around me, as you fell asleep and I listened to your breath as your muscles fell asleep and your breathing changed and all that mattered in those moments were you and I. When we woke up, we both knew we wanted the same things for the day and yet we both wanted the world to stop so that we could spend the morning in bed together.

When I think of what we’ve experienced together, the moments I remember most are your smile, your laughter and the feelings I felt as you had your arms around me. The times that we woke up together and the times we fell asleep together. The times that you looked at me with your inviting smile and allowing me to melt in your eyes, are the times that make everything else wash away. You make everything in my world bearable. You’ve created a ‘home’ that I’m able to go that no one has been able to make for me, not one that I’m able to ‘walk’ into with my entire being, yet my soul is able to crawl into and know that no matter what happens from here and out, I’m going to be OK because you’re there….You’re there to help me through no matter what it is that I have to deal with and that I’m going to be OK because you’re going to walk beside me through no matter what issue it is that I need to handle.

 You’re HOME to me Mr. B.

What we have is extremely comforting to me and I’m absolutely positive that I’m falling in love with you and everything you are and all that you are about. You are the man that I’ve waited for and the man I’ve dreamed of. You’re the father that I always wanted to appear in my life to his children. You’re the hero that I always looked for as a little girl. You’re the gentleman that I always wished would appear at my doorstep. You’re the friend that I always looked for in a man. You’re the male figure that keeps a clean house inside and out and that shows what a real man is.

To be able to have you next to me is beyond a dream, it’s a complete fairytale come true.

As I looked over at you this past weekend, on our trip, it was magical to see the man that was sitting next to me. It wasn’t only the fact that you are extremely handsome, a selfless man, a gentleman, a wonderful father, a man that is mature beyond is years, it was that you were there to be with me and that every ounce of wisdom and knowledge that was held in your face was becoming more and more known to myself as someone that I wanted to spend more time with. As I looked over at you, I smiled inside as my heart warmed, knowing that everything about you, I trusted with my entire heart and that who I was looking at was a gift from the gods above. I knew that who I was looking at was someone I only hope will stay by my side forever.

You are not afraid to confront me. You are not afraid to put me in my place and call me on my stuff. You listen to me when I tell you how I feel about something you are doing and I don’t agree. You look for solutions in the areas that concern me and look for ways that I can do things differently as well. You make suggestions to help with situations. You ask for help. You are humble.

As you laid your head on my lap, I didn’t want you to move. I wanted you stay there and to continue to do it over and over and over. As you watched over me at the event and asked how you could help, I never realized what it would be like to have someone there for me to help me, it felt so GREAT to have that support. As we sat with the others, chatting and experiencing new relationships with others together, it was GREAT to have someone to share the joys, smiles and to experience with someone the BEST times known to me. All of these times, are what I’ve yearned for….. my entire life.

You create adventure, laughter, comfort and joy all into such small amounts of time and knowing that each time we are together, it becomes stronger, and my heart yearns for more of all of it with you. To know that everything that has happened up until this moment, to bring us here, has been worth every ounce of pain, sorrow and tear, for without all of those, you’d never have appeared in my life.

There were so many different things that we experienced together the past week, yet the best part of it all was having you there. The rest really didn’t matter, since it was with you. I adored the moments we were able to experience together and the adventures were absolutely unforgettable, yet, none of it would have been a quarter of a memory without you.

If this is the rest of my life, I’ll take it. 

Your Touch ~~ THREE MORE DAYS!!!!

Three days and an airplane ride and I’ll be in your arms again. The thoughts are becoming unbearable. As I read, I’m unable to do anything but think of the first time you touched me.

As I seen you in the terminal, you were a dream come true and you were more then I’d ever imagined in a man that I’d ever meet. You’d taken the time to learn who I was and what I enjoyed, you took the time to do what you needed to be there and make sure that you showed interest in all of my life in such a short amount of time that when I saw you that day, I was blown away by the man that stood before me. I don’t remember walking up to you, I remember hugging you and the embrace was absolutely unforgettable, then when you kissed me, it was the most magical feeling I’d ever felt, only to have that feeling followed the entire time we were at the airport. 

When you threw me up against the wall at the terminal, that night, my heart leaped into a different dimension and I’m not sure it’s returned. 

The feelings of you throwing me over your shoulder when we walked into the grocery store, was a surprising feeling that allowed me to be a child all over again, knowing that we’d have nothing but a great time in front of us. 

As you looked at me, with your beautiful blue eyes and that smile, I melted. To this day, I melt. You don’t even need to touch me to melt me in my chair.

As you wrapped your arms around me that night, it was a feeling unknown to me and yet so comfortable. All I wanted to do was stay in those arms and have your hands all over me, every minute for the rest of my life. The night went on and there was nothing that I’d have had changed, for the feelings that I felt that night were beyond exquisite, they were priceless and created all through a magic, only you and I know. When we sleep together and you wrap your arms around me, or I around you, it’s absolutely priceless and time stops. The only thing I want to do is, lie there with you, forever. If time stopped with me next to you, it would be too soon.

The days that we spent visiting different areas, still come back to me like they were yesterday. The environments were replaceable, yet it was the feelings where you touch me. When you’d hold my hand or put your hand on my leg, those moments have been so missed and yearned for over multiple years. As you touch me, my body feels it throughout its entirety and I want nothing more than you to put your arms around me and never let me go. 

I’m not sure I’ve told you, but when we were visiting one of your favorite restaurants on my last visit, you were sharing something and I found myself lost. Lost in your eyes and the simple fact that you were sitting there, sharing about your world, to me…no one else… and you were all mine. I was lost in the fact that those moments were real and that in that single moment, I was in a heaven I’d not felt before. I was somewhere I’d never been and it wasn’t that it wasn’t real, it was that you were everything I’d ever hoped for and more and you were right in front of me, wanting nothing but me and to show me your world. I was lost in the fact that for the first time in my life, someone was willing to do whatever it took to show me that I was his and he wanted to be mine.

I find myself day dreaming, while standing in my kitchen, laying on my couch looking at the sky, laying in my bed at night or just plain ole staring off into space, the feelings of your touch. Yearning for you to walk up to me and grab me, hold me and tell me that you are there and not going anywhere. I reminisce the times we’ve been together and relive those moments, only to look forward to the next time we are together to create more memories. Every night, I hold my teddy bear, thinking of what it felt like when you held me while I started to fall asleep and knowing that the moments were priceless. I reminisce of when we’re riding up to the mountains and you had your hand on my leg, where it looked right and felt as though it was meant to be right there. I reminisce of when you were in the terminal on my last visit and you see me in the dress that I decided to wear and your eyes wanted nothing more than to take me right there, with the result of you taking me into your arms and not getting enough of me at that moment and the others that were soon to follow.

Three more days and an airplane ride and we will be able to create magic all over again, this time I know that when you finally leave my side, it will be more difficult and that I will yearn such as this again. Though I also know that the gods didn’t do this to us to leave us here, in this moment, alone. I know that someday, these moments will pass and that we will work through this ‘long distance’ portion and create something much more.

Mr. B, the magic that we have is real, passionate and extremely desirable to each of us that even though there’s mountains included, we’ll move them to continue this epic adventure. Not only for us, but for those that don’t believe that this type of relationship is possible any longer.
Thank you for showing up in my life and thank you for the patience you’ve shown, with my defects and the rest of my crazy cancer personality shows. Thank you for believing and for not giving up on what we both yearn, yet won’t admit. Thank you for being the man I’ve always dreamed of and for waiting for me all the while working on you.

Here’s to more memories…. Pictures….. and stories to share with those that would like to know what it is like to fall hard all over again, even before life begins at 40.

He's Humble ~ He's Real ~ He's MINE in 5 days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My heart sinks when I know you are hurting and to be over 900 miles away from you, makes it that much more difficult. There’s nothing more I would like to do then be there and put you in my arms and show you that it will be OK. There’s nothing more I want then to take away the pain and make things right for you. To hear the pain in your voice, tugs at my heart, knowing that the moments that created that emotion in you is nothing I’m able to change and to be so far away from you, makes it even that much more difficult.

When you share your feelings with me and your thoughts, the feelings of wanting to be near you are stronger today than they were when we started this journey. You share your utmost thoughts and feelings with me, attracting me to you more and more. You share your pain and joy with me and it’s beyond a comfortable feeling, it warms my heart and creates something I’ve not felt in a very long time. It feels so good to have someone rely on me with their heart and soul, creating a magic I’ve  not received from the other gender in quite some time.

When you share how you handle situations and the actions you put forth over what you’d like to do and what you’re vengeful side would choose, my attraction to you becomes even stronger and more intertwined.

The man I met is not fictitious, he’s real.
The man I’m beginning to know is not only real, but his heart is in the ‘right’ place..
The man I’m falling for has a desire to do right and create a world that is unknown to society today.

The man who is becoming my best friend is beyond an angel type, he’s out to do the world good.

The man I will be with in less than 5 days, is such an extraordinary man, that I cannot wait to share with the world and to show everyone that these men do exist for the women that are READY for a good soul to appear in their worlds.

There comes a time in your life when you need to make decisions and it’s up to each and every one of us to do the next ‘right’ thing admist what we’d actually like to do. We all have desires and wants, yet it is in the good that we need to seek out to overcome all that evil and follow our clear heart and wash it all away by doing good. By following the good in our hearts, we become the stronger person and in the end that person is the one that is rewarded, even though waiting for it takes time and energy. As well as much patience. 

There’s so many lessons I’ve learned in life and one of the hardest ones has been to be the better person, as hard as it is and as difficult as it is to hold to my word and follow through with my actions. Though, I’m pretty certain that anything that I’ve had to hold true too has not only paid off, it’s made those around me stronger as well. 

Hopefully I’m able to never lose this man I share about, actually if I could keep him forever, at this point in our journey, I’d do it. He continues to awe me and show me how great of a human being he really is. We might be in the midst of a long distance relationship, but I’m pretty sure that the gods know what they are doing and that between the distance and time for us, we are finding something magical and today, I’m going to work on enjoying every ounce of it. For who knows..

Tomorrow may never come.