My life didn't go that way

🍀 🍀 🍀 🍀 ~~ BE THE CHANGE ~~ 🍀 🍀 🍀 🍀

When I was growing up the thing to do was to be in sports, grow up, meet the spouse of your life, get married and have babies and then grow old together.

🎈 🎉 🎈 🎉 Well, my life didn't go like that. 🎈 🎉 🎈 🎉

I'm grateful that I was not married long and that my world crashed after I realized that living life to the fullest meant, not using any chemicals and helping others is the key to living a different way of life, all the while learning about myself, through the pain, the trials, the errors, the tribulations. If it were not for my husband leaving me for another woman I'd not be who I am today. I'd not be the parent that I am today. I'd not be the friend that I am today. I'd not be even close to who I am today.

I'm grateful that I was blessed with two bankruptcies, near homelessness twice, loss of an unborn child and a foreclosure, for I've learned between that and growing up with the bare minimum that these are all only ITEMS. The real 'things' in life are in the heart, the arms of those you love and the souls of those around us.

I'm grateful that I was blessed with two beautiful, healthy children that my higher power seems to believe that I can raise on my own ( 3/4's of the time ) and that I'm able to see right from wrong to show them a healthy way of life and that I was offered a chance to a third child. Yet, I'm able to know today that two was my magic number.

I'm grateful that I hit my heaviest weight while I was married with children and that I became disgusted enough to change my entire world and integrate fitness and health into as a way of life.

I'm grateful that today, I'm being given a chance to follow every dream that I ever had and that I'm able to do this on my own free will ( with the help from above and the angels that surround me ). That I'm able to chase after a life that was completely unknown to me while growing up and only ever seen in the movies or cartoons. That I've been given tools to make a difference ... in more then one person's life.

Today - I'm grateful that I'm not the same person that entered her adulthood and that all the trials and tribulations that were presented to me, I was able to turn them around 100% and make them a positive verses a negative.

Today - I'm grateful for YOU. For it was you that believed in me to get me to this point and YOU that keep me moving forward.

#ONWARDTOEPIC

#BETHECHANGE

Thank you for all the heartache.

The sun was blasting it's beauty down on me as I drove away, after dropping off the children, knowing that I had to let them go for another 9 hours so that I was able to attend to the place that paid our bills, yet I didn't want to let them go, for I also knew that you'd not be calling me today.

I sent out messages to all those I was close to at that time, sharing with them that I was thinking of them and only wished that someone had sent me a message first.

I drove home.

Knowing that through the day you'd never call me.
Knowing that through the day you'd never text me.
Knowing that through the day you'd never think of me.
Knowing that the person I'd given my heart to didn't feel the same way any longer.

This happened for almost two years.

Than I changed.

I let you go.

Today, I drove that exact same drive, the sun wasn't shining down on me, but my heart wasn't missing you any longer. Today, the children weren't leaving for the day. Today, I didn't yearn for you to contact me. Today, I don't think about you. Today, I don't wait.

We all have changes to face in our lives.
We all have challenges to face in our lives.
We all have choices to make in our lives.
We all have heart ache in our lives.
We all have this life, called a journey.

It's up to us to choose to live it in misery or to actually live it.
It's up to us to choose to feel the feelings that attend this journey with us.
It's up to us to choose to grow and change with this journey.
It's up to us to choose to let go and become stronger.
It's up to us to choose to become who we'd like to be.
It's up to us to choose to do the work.
It's up to us to choose.

I've let you go.
I've chosen to learn to live.
I've made room for the next adventure in my heart.
I've decided that this journey doesn't end because we feel pain.

I've decided that this journey includes bumps, mistakes, lessons and so much more.

Thank you for all the times we had together.
Thank you for teaching me how strong I really am.
Thank you for teaching me that I'm worth it.
Thank you for everything you left behind.
Thank you for being in my life.
Thank you.

Someday, that love that I felt, will return.
Someday, that message will appear and it will warm my heart, soul and everything in between.
Someday, I'll love again.

For today, I'm working on loving me more and sharing the love to those that show me that they love me.

Today.
I will LOVE.

For today, is all I have. Today.