We Pocket Our PRIDE

Through each different scenario that I need to adhere strength and apply it with all my might, I don't question it at that moment, I just make sure that I'm holding onto my faith, loving myself and those around me and make the 'right' decision that is needed in the next moment. It's never an easy task, nor do I wish these experiences upon anyone else in this world, yet, I'm well aware that each of us have these and that we all need to deal with them as they arrive. 

Years back I was given a beautiful gift named recovery. Through the times that I've had to face my most weakest spots, I've not been able to numb the pain or feelings. As they note in one of the books: 

"We pocket our pride and go to it, illuminating every twist of character, every dark cranny of the past. Once we have taken this step, withholding nothing, we are delighted. We can look the world in the eye. We can be alone at perfect peace and ease. Our fears fall from us. We begin to feel the nearness of our Creator. We may have had certain spiritual beliefs, but now we begin to have a spiritual experience. The feeling that the drink problem has disappeared will often come strongly. We feel we are on the Broad Highway, walking hand in hand with the Spirit of the Universe." ( Into Action ~ Big Book )

For you see, living life today for me is to be a spiritual being who is able to create a vision of HOPE to all that exist in this world. In order for me to accomplish that, I need to be fearless and to face the entire experience that's in front of me with the utmost courage and tolerance, all the while loving myself through the entirety of the situation. When I lose track of those simple applications, I lose myself and when I lose myself, people get hurt. 

After thinking it through today, I've moved alot in my life, not always due to my own circumstances, nor of my own wishes, however, each time that I move the children and I, I don't dread the move. Instead I embrace it. As though, it's a new beginning, in a new environment, something that we've never experienced. It's as though, we are given another chance to make something for ourselves, where we hadn't had the opportunity prior. For through the pain, we grow and become more. There's so much to be said about starting over. There's so much to be said about letting go of where you are and starting over, with all that you have inside and beginning something new, while taking risks and not knowing the end outcome.

When you allow yourself to take the risk of beginning a new chapter, you have choices to either sit in the negative or you are able to embrace the experience itself and take from it what you know as well as learn so much more within yourself. From those lessons, one is able to help so many people!! As well as teach others how to live differently.

While I've never realized how strong I am, until it's usually pointed out to me, I do know this :

I'm a courageous, confident woman that has a force behind her that will never allow me to fall to the depths of never getting back up again. I'm a strong woman that believes in the universe and will also rely on the spirits to help her get back up again. I'm a woman that knows that through all the trials and tribulations, she's become the woman that she is today and that there's only so much more growth to endure to become that much more of a woman, who will, in fact, one day share her entire spirit with the world and let more than those of you reading this, that the IMPOSSIBLE is POSSIBLE and that by continuing to GET BACK UP, you create more strength inside yourself. When you achieve the impossible, you in turn, create a stronger connect within that no one, not ONE PERSON, can break other than yourself. YOU are who YOU are because of what you've been through and by choosing to continue on, by allowing change and growth to continue in your world, you are who you are and YOU ARE AMAZING, beautiful and a phenomenal mirrored image of your insides.

Embrace the experiences, for it's through each and every one of them that are helping you to become who you choose to be and who you choose to allow the world to know. Show up for the fight, even if you are hit down and have absolutely nothing left to help yourself back up, do it for the inner you that deserves to LIVE this journey called LIFE!!!!

** Thank you to all of you who've given me HOPE, LOVE and SUPPORT through this entire journey, for without all of you, I'd NEVER be who I am today!!!