It's Time To Shine

Tic Toc
Tic Toc
Tic Toc

The clock's third hand shares with me, reminding me of this moment.

Tic Toc
Tic Toc
Tic Toc

The bunched up and used Kleenex remind me, of the tears during the moment.

Tic Toc
Tic Toc
Tic Toc

The silence reminds me, how extremely hard I've worked to get to this exact moment.

Tic Toc
Tic Toc
Tic Toc

The moment, this moment, is exactly where I'm suppose to be today. Who I was meant to be. The woman that I had always wanted in  my life while I grew up. This moment is the NOW and this moment is mine. This moment is what I know is REAL. This moment is the way I've lived the past 20 years. This moment, This very moment, Is ALL I have.

This moment, particularly, is a Friday evening. A very quiet Friday evening. There's been MANY of these in the past 20 years. There's been many kleenex's used. There's been many prayers, many meditations, many feelings,  during these moments. There's been ALOT of exceptional  growth in these moments.

During  these moments, I've made some major decisions. Not alone, as my Higher Power was always there with me, reminded me, that today, Lori, you awoke. There's a reason and tomorrow,  you will see why. There's always been the next morning, knowing that no matter what happened, it was always going to be OK.There's the lack of moments where I didn't believe, because I always had that small glimpse of that faith of a mustard seed. For, faith without works is dead.

If I shared with you what I had always yearned, all of these moments, alone with my Higher Power,  was to not be alone. To be accompanied by someone who loved me as much as I loved them, to know that no matter if that Tic Toc Silence was there, they were there because they wanted to be, not because they had to be. That's what I've always yearned and longed for.

If I shared with you that I had absolutely NO fear, making the hardest decisions of my life, while sitting alone, I'd be lieing. For I've faced the fear feeling, almost my entire life. From the abuse, the pain, the loneliness and the misery, I've always had a fear that was present. Yet, I've also had that mustard seed of faith. For, I always wake up, which in my mind is telling me that I'm not done yet. I've got more to do while I'm here.

This Friday Night Moments are different.
This Friday Night Moments are not those of sadness, they are ones of realizations. For you see, it's time. It's MY TIME. I've worked hard the past 20 years, I've given my time, I've given my desires and wants up, I've been extremely unselfish, making mistakes along the way, yet usually the path was always filled up with goodness and the road was bumpy, yet always taking into consideration unconditional love for whomever was in my path. I've given up ALOT.

Now is my time to shine.

This is the moment that I realize that the past is the past and I'm who I am because of it.
This is the moment where I can see clearly that the moment is literally distinguishing my past from my future.
This is the moment where I'm able to know that the Spiritual Experience that is prevailing in me at this very second, is the beginning of my new life.
This is the moment that my best friend has always been talking about:

My Next Chapter.

It's finally the time of the story where all the goodness and success comes flowing in.
It's finally the time of this journey where you will not only see the rewards,  you will watch the flower blossom and smell amazing wonderful, you will be able to watch the caterpillar turn into that beautiful butterfly, you will be able to see that when I shared about the impossible being possible is nothing shy of the TRUTH.

It's Time To Let Go Of all of my PAST
All to
Start My New Beginnings

Twenty Years ago, a phenomenal woman, my grandmother, turned to me and, with tears in her eyes,  shared with me in front of a group of people, my siblings and my counselors, that I couldn't go home with her. She shared that I needed to listen to all their suggestions. She shared that I needed to go to where they knew was good for me.
To this VERY day, my grandmother will share with you that at that very moment, sharing that very suggestion with me, was one of the hardest days of  her life. For you see, my grandmother acted off of FAITH and HOPE that her eldest grandchild would go away and learn how to live differently.

What my grandmother has seen, is that, it WORKED!!!!!!

I'll ALWAYS be utterly grateful for that woman and that God knew, He knew, exactly what he was doing and we ALL listened. It was my time to work on who I was going to be today. He knew that I had to go through everything that I had, feel it, live it, learn from it, all so that today, I can start a new beginning and do what I'm meant to do. He knew that with this plan,  I'd become a wonderful woman who would, by chance, change the world one small step at a time.

You see, my journey is on it's way to my ultimate dream, which is to mimic a great man named Martin Luther King Jr and help others by sharing with those who are willing to change, my experience, strength and hope. All the while, living to help others through all my trials and tribulations. My path is now beginning to get to where my dreams will take me and now it's time to reap the rewards to make a solid path to create just that and nothing less.

In less then one week, I will celebrate my 20th anniversary in recovery and Its not one minute short of where I'm suppose to be.  There's nothing in my world that comes easily, nor is there nothing in my world that is given to me, it's all from hard work, intense feelings and experiences that have created who I am today. I'm  convinced that my passion is to help others through my life's experiences and I've nothing but FAITH and HOPE that this it.

This is my time to shine. 

*Good Bye Lonely Friday Nights

*Good Bye Bunched up Kleenexes 

*Good Bye to the Past and My Arms Ready for the Future

Gratitude is Attitude and Attitude is Gratitude 

~~ Bless your souls Great Grama, Great Grampa, Kitty, Aunt Nancy, Grampa George, Sweet Brittney and Good Ole Uncle Donny.... for you are my guardian angels and without you watching over me and my children, I'd never had made it this far. I'll always be grateful for allowing me to fly and soar through it all, with the bumps and bruises, yet always picking me back up when I was to weak ~~

DON'T QUIT 

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,

When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,

When funds are low and the debts are high,

And you want to smile but you have to sigh,

When care is pressing you down a bit,

Rest if you must, but don't you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,

As every one of us sometimes learns,

And many a failure turns about,

When he might have won if he'd stuck it out.

Don't give up, though the pace seems slow -

You may succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than

It seems to a faint and faltering man;

Often the struggler has given up

When he might have captured the victor's cup,

And he learned too late, when the night slipped down,

How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out -

The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,

And you never can tell how close you are -

It may be near when it seems afar;

So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit -

It's when things seem worst that you mustn't quit.

#NewBeginnings #LettingGo #NewChapter #NeverQuit #MommaLori #MakesitHappen #OnwardtoEPIC