Thank you for this Moment ( 20 years of complete abstinence )

"Faith is...taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase" (MLK) 

On April 22, 1995,  not one soul could have told me where I would've ended up nor would a soul have ever told me that I would be writing this 20 years later and sharing with you that I've not chosen to pick a single drop of alcohol or a mind altering chemical and that I've successfully worked a program of recovery for one day at a time to celebrate this day!!

Before I begin my list of THANK YOU's -- >> My HP is my first one and you'll read that, however, my entire life today is all due to the two little angels that I was blessed with. For you see, when I was a little girl, all I ever wanted was to have what other children had, the love that they had from others and those that were in my life, were to busy to show that to me. So, as I grew, I yearned for children of my own. My HP knew, absolutely KNEW, when to place these two beautiful angels in my life. Without you, Leah and Dylan, I'd NEVER Had been the woman  you see today!!! For without you, I'd given up, wrecked, ruined and absolutely torn apart multiple lives, if it were not for you and what I yearn for in your lives. You, yes, you simple two beautiful beings, give me HOPE and show me EVERY SINGLE day that I'm beyond blessed to be able to be called your mother. THANK YOU for appearing in my life, for you are definitely gifts and I'll NEVER take you for granted!!!!

First off, I need to thank my higher power. Who has changed many times since I woke up that day, who had strengthened me more times then a human can count, who has always been there, who knows that no matter what I'm faced with I'll make it through, for with Faith as small as a mustard seed ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE and mountains are moved.

Second off, I need to thank my father, sister and brother for driving me to Granite Falls that day, in 1995. I'm not sure how hard it was for you to drop me off only with a small glimpse of hope that I'd get better. I need to thank my brother for sharing that he wanted his big sister to get better. I need to thank my grandmother for coming to my family group session with my siblings, three months later and telling me I couldn't go home with her. These individuals, they saved my life. They have no idea, how much they mean to me or how much of what they did, impacted not only my life, but so many others due to their willingness to help change my life.

Third off, all the people that have touched my life in one way or another, I'm grateful for you. I'll always be grateful for you, you helped me to become me. Not one of you, probably you reading this right now,  had something to do with who I am today and for you, I'm grateful!!

Fourth off, for all the mistakes I've made and for all those that I'm going to make, I'm grateful. For without each and every one of these, I'd not be near to the woman I am today. Courageous, boastful, independent, stubborn, and all the rest stem from my mistakes and I'm utterly grateful I made them.

Fifth off, the twelve steps and traditions, for without these I'd be lost with how to live life. I'll continue to apply these to my life, 24 hours a day, and hopefully teach others how to apply these.

The list goes on and on and on .... yet, this day, this moment, this NOW is so freak'n phenomenal for this old drug addict who knew nothing other then manipulation, rationalization, fear, hurt, anguish, pain, misery, doubt, negativity, numbness, evil, death and so much more to now that the world is full of everything other then those only if we are willing to work for them!!! The sun is able to shine every day, if you allow it too. For the sun never sets, we only allow the clouds to fill in and stop the rays.

ALWAYS BELIEVE 

We only have one life to live
Climb the Mountains
Run the Hills
Swim the  Oceans
See the World
Breath as though it's Your Last BREATH
NEVER EVER GIVE UP

I'll always know that:

Yesterday is GONE
Tomorrow may never ARRIVE
TODAY IS THE GIFT 

~~ To those that have passed from the disease of addiction  and alcoholism, to those that have passed without rhyme or reasons, to those that have passed from disease or sickness, for those who have passed.. May you RIP and May you always help those of here on this journey as we look up to the angels to carry us through the hard times and allow us to fly through the good ones ~~