Love Yourself with clothes on

When I was younger, I was introduced to sex, drugs and alcohol much younger than most. I grew up thinking that women were to do whatever it was that men wanted them to do and that in order to get what we wanted we were to throw ourselves upon them. For it was our bodies that they wanted, what else was there any way?

As I grew up, I mimicked what I learned. I found myself in prostitution when I was at a very young age, making deals with drug dealers for other drug dealers, to close deals and to make the ends meet. Always getting what I thought I wanted and yet always feeling miserable.

As I continued to grow up, I still threw my body at men and always hoped that eventually someone would see through the ‘meat’ and be more interested in what was underneath and enclosed in my soul. I wanted them to ask me how I felt, I wanted them to see my tears, I wanted them to make me laugh. I would always watch movies and wish that a man would want me like they wanted the women in the movies, the romance movies and novels. I wanted to be ‘that’ woman. I wanted and yearned for someone to love me in the respect that I didn’t know for myself. I wanted someone to love me for me, yet in reality, I didn’t love me.

How can someone love you when you don’t love yourself? How are they going to respect you when you don’t respect yourself? How is anyone going to be the man you want, when you don’t know what type of woman you really are? How is anyone going to love you when you share a mask with the world? How will you attract the love you want when you don’t know what love really is from the insides?

It’s when I learned to love myself that I learned exactly what it was that I wanted out of life. It’s after all the heart breaks, all the losses, all the lessons that I learned and when I began to apply the principles of love to myself that love was allowed to enter my life. The love that entered my life, wasn’t because I showed cleavage or that I showed skin in any manner, the love that entered my life was because I was me. I shared with the world who I was, confidently and care free, showing the world that by living my life and feeling my feelings, I’m a beautiful woman who is a great mother and who is able to be a great friend and do for others what they are not able to do for themselves, all the while spreading love within and keeping a balance.

When I learned that it wasn’t about what others thought of me and that I didn’t need to please others, by what I believed in, I found a new freedom and in that I learned that loving myself and by sharing my world with others, that I’m able to live my dreams. Dreams that were tucked away for years, because I was being who I thought I was supposed to be and not who I really was. Dreams that were kept in a fog, only because I didn’t want a certain person not like me for who I was, or to hide what I believed because it would piss off my family, or doing what I thought that society  thought I should do. By doing all these things, I lost myself. I lost everything I knew and everything that I’d worked for up to that point was taken from me, all the while I held on to become who I always wanted to be. I had to push through the old messages, and push past what society that tries to hug you so tight that you begin to choke and cave into what it deems you should be, past the people that I’d surrounded myself with and let them go to make new…..

Today it’s not about if you like me or not, if I piss you off or if I make you happy.  It’s not about if I’m the person you want me to be or think I should be, it’s about me. It’s about living a life that I’m able to swallow at the end of the day. It’s about living a life that shows my children that this world is full of opportunities, positivity, love and joy that’s so incredible that it’s magical. It’s about sharing with the world that the impossible is possible. It’s about living without regret and making choices that will help change the world, one person at time. It’s about when I lay my head on my pillow at night, I knew at that moment, I didn’t miss a moment in the day that was so preciously given me that I abused it and allowed it blow away in the midst of the society nonsense that is so misleading. It’s about me and about living a life that’s completely imaginary, yet 100% real. It’s about following through on everything I dream about and showing my children that by no matter what’s thrown in front of me, it’s something that we can accomplish together and even though that mountain may seem high, it’s still able to be climbed with sweat, grind and determination and that when we get to the top the fresh air, the scenery and the joy that we will feel will have been worth every single drop of fear and courage that we needed to continue on through and achieve this moment.

You see, I don’t need to show you my skin,  or my boobs, my ass or even that I don’t have underwear on, what I need to show you is how to live and life on life’s terms isn’t about not respecting and loving ourselves, it’s the complete opposite. It’s about making ourselves number one so that we are able to live this life 100% and to show our children and world that the magic is real.

Go on. Stay Real. Be you. Make a difference in this world. Know that you are amazing, even with clothes on and that if you are not loved in the way you yearn, then change the insides first and the outsides will follow. One. Step. At. A. Time.

#OnwardtoEpic

#Bethechange

“ Go on and love you – see what happens – it’s only YOU that you will end up with, why not treat you with LOVE “ 

Lori J Yokiel's Website (Motivational Speaker)