12 Days and counting ...

As I called my best friend to share with her that I’ve booked another trip, yet this one is with extreme excitement to see the new man in my life. We chatted about the different scenarios that will appear while I’m visiting him. We share about the physical encounters he and I will have as well as who I will meet while I’m staying there. Then we share about how I’m so comfortable with him and begin discussing if this relationship is moving to fast. Then she shares with me something that was pretty clear to me, yet good to hear from her. She said: “It’s cool how you are so comfortable with Brian. It’s nice to hear that you are not questioning if you should say this or do that. It’s a good thing to see you two are so open with one another. You’ve never had that the guys you were interested in.”

This time there’s so many things that are different with the man that I’m falling for. He’s never afraid to ask me what I’m thinking and I’m not afraid to tell him. He’s always so inquisitive about what I’m thinking, every moment of every day. He wants to know more about what I’m thinking, dreaming, wanting, wishing, trying to decide, debating on, questioning, all of it, he wants to know. He not only wants to know what it all is, he wants to know how he can help, what is it that I need and where can he fit in the picture.

He’d asked me before why I don’t go after men with money, I shared with him that it’s not money that I want in my life, I want to be loved. Someone that has a lot of money is usually missing the most important ingredient, which is love. I don’t want money to take care of my life, I want the love to go with the money that is coming. I want someone there to listen to my everything. I want someone to be there when I wake up to say “Good Morning” and someone there at night to ask me how my day was. I want someone to call when I don’t know which way to turn from excitement or failure, someone to call while making decisions, someone to notice when something good happens and points it out without me saying something. I want someone there to pick me up when I’m falling and hold me, letting me know that no matter what they’ll be there to help me up when I’m weak. I want someone there to see the rainbows after the rainfalls. I want someone there to just sit with me at night and be next to me. I just want the love that money can’t provide.  There’s so many things that are so much more important than money.

Yesterday I was able to break away from what I was doing and he did the same and we chatted on the phone, all I did was smile and laugh. My cheeks hurt from smiling a true smile with laughter behind it. It felt so good and it’s so missed in my life. He’s reminded me of what it’s like to just be and laugh as the simplest things, to joke around and to know that we are only joking and that neither of us are going anywhere. It felt amazing to be able to know that the person on the other end, wanted the exact same thing as I and that we both wanted this to last forever.

This past week he had to work at the station, he took on an extra day and during those 3 days there were times he didn’t answer my text messages. The strangest thing happened for me, I usually go into a panic mode and wonder “Who’s he talking too? Maybe he’s ignoring me? Etc Etc” and yet this time, I know that it’s not all about me and I’m okay with the fact that this man is out saving the world and that when he gets a chance, he’ll contact me. I adore hearing about what he’s doing throughout his day, for he’s not out doing selfish acts, he’s out changing the world one small step at a time. He’s becoming more and more attractive as the time continues and it’s not the attractiveness in an egotistical sort of manner, it’s in the fact that I’ve met an unselfish soul that is out to help the world and give his all to do so, whether it’s in the J.O.B. that he holds, in making time for his daughter or in just simply helping his friends in their lives. He’s my own Super Man.

When we first started speaking, one of the best things he’d say to me was: “I’m not going anywhere.” Just those simple words were so comforting, I’m not sure I’ve shared that with him, but to know that he not only meant it, he’s following through on those words, my world is better by the minute. Knowing that someone wants me as much as I want them, is priceless. It’s the most amazing feeling in the world to know that there’s someone out there who will wait for me. Not sure it’s ever been said to me before that someone was not going anywhere and that they would be there when I’m done with whatever it is I’m doing. He definitely made his way to my heart when he shared these words … and I can’t wait to see what else happens with us.

This man, who I truly believe, God put in my life is beginning to grab hold of me on the insides and allowing me to become more and more attracted to him and as I communicate with him over 900 miles, we are connecting and creating a bond that only excites me more to be in his arms and feel the physical connections that go hand in hand and intertwine this bond with him and I.

My girlfriend said to me when I first introduced him to her via messages:

“He may have been worth the wait”

Mr. B, I’ve waited a very long time for someone like you. Thank you for showing up in my life and I honestly hope that this never ends….. Here’s until I’m in your arms in less than 12 days……