Friday, September 9, 2016

What he didn't even know he was doing to me ...

After spending a few short hours together in public, trying with all our might to not allow the butterflies to interrupt us, working on paying attention that we were actually in public and not giving into every temptation that we had and giving into exactly what our minds knew we wanted too.....

You walked in front of me, after having listened to me and the issues that I'm currently dealing with, being a single mother of two, juggling life on life's terms while going to college and putting them into their next years in school all the while, knowing fair well that I'm inching by to make it financially, you shared with me thoughts that made my attraction to you even stronger.

Maybe it's because I've not allowed myself to get close to a male being in a very long time, or maybe it's because you took the simple time out of your day to go with me for a few hours and give them to me, or maybe it's because you are simply that amazing ....

Whatever the 'real' reason was, you took another step closer to who I am inside, with your responses to what I was sharing. It was as though you knew that as I shared about struggling, exactly what I needed to hear to make the struggles more bearable. It's as though the thoughts that you had shared with me matched the embrace that you also shared with me when we first met. It's as though God heard me and knew that I needed you, It's as though you were put there, at that moment, for a reason much larger then I could imagine or explain.



What you don't know is that what you shared, I'd not even thought of, I'd not even put that thought process to what I was doing in life. For what I'm doing in life, isn't always about what's so far in the future but more so what's in front of me and the children. For I continue to do the footwork, to make it to the next moment,  not  that far in the future.

It felt as though you knew.
You knew the exact words that I hear in movies or in others lives that actually made a difference in their children's lives.
You knew, perceived and applied what I was living to what you'd seen in other's lives and worlds and confirmed that what I am doing is the 'right' things to be doing.
You confirmed that the struggle is worth it, even though right now I could collapse from the stress and pressures of life it's self.

I'm not even sure if you realize the impact you had on me by what you said/did that night. You were attractive to me the entire time we'd spent together, even more so each time we'd see each other or chat with one another, but that night, those words, you opened up a whole different level of attraction to you.

Thank you.



Thank you for being you.

Thank you for what  you shared.

Thank you for showing up in my life.

Thank you for impacting my world, in the extremely short time you've been here.

Thank you for showing me that the HOPE that I had tucked away in my back pocket, was actually real and that there's still a chance for an ole woman like me.



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