Only in the darkness can you see the STARS ( MLK )

There is a solution. Almost none of us liked the self-searching, the leveling of our pride, the confession of shortcomings which the process requires for its successful consummation. But we say that it really worked in others, and we had to come to believe in the hopelessness and futility of life as we had been living it. When, therefore, we were approached by those in whom the problem had been solved, there was nothing left for us but to pick up the simple kit of spiritual tools laid at our feet. We have found much of heaven and we have been rocketed into a fourth dimension of existence of which we had not even dreamed.
The great fact is just this, and nothing less: That we have had deep and effective spiritual experiences which have revolutionized our whole attitude toward life, toward our fellows and toward God’s universe. The central fact of our lives today is the absolute certainty that our creator has entered into our hearts and lives in a way which is indeed miraculous. He has commenced to accomplish those things for us which we could never do by ourselves.

For you see, the life that I live isn’t one that’s easy. It’s one that takes courage to live, to continue on, to move through day by day, to agree to move through each moment and to know that no matter what, everything WILL be OK. It’s not a life that I signed up for, it’s a life that I was given and that’s a gift that not many are able to say they were handed. Not many are able to say that they have had the experiences, adventures, losses, gains, successes, failures, love, hate and all that’s in between all of those included in their lives prior to being 40 years old. Not many are able to say that they’ve hit bottom, twice, and then completely turning their life around 180 degrees and making a new life for themselves. Not many are able to stand there and tell you that they are human, they mess up and they will make more mistakes, yet continue to get back up and be who they know they are meant to be. Not many will tell you that they have lived this life long enough to know that to live without regret is the ONLY way to live. Not many will tell you that they follow their own hearts to the end of the world and back again. Not many will tell you that they drained their entire life savings to try something only they believed in. Not many will tell you that tomorrow is not a promise, yesterday is gone and today is the actual GIFT.

I’ve been given a gift, a gift to live life differently through the grace of my higher power and a program that extremely simple yet, we as humans, complicate the hell outta it. I’ve been given a clear mind to see that I have a choice, a choice to continue through this wonderful dimension or to sit still and stay in misery. I’ve been given a new day to make a difference. I’ve been blessed, beyond doubt, with a chance to help others change their lives, all alone by spreading HOPE while living the life I’ve been handed. I’ve been honored to be able to share my experience, strength and hope with the world so that they are able to know that they are not alone and through whatever it is that they are dealing with, there’s always something better coming.

In 1996, I read the above two paragraphs at my 1 year celebration of recovery. I was 19 years old and I was starting my life over, with a fellowship, no family and completely lost to the world ahead. I was beginning a way of live I’d never been introduced to until I was 18 years old. I was going to make something of myself and I was going to break old messages and traditions that created the world I was leaving behind. It’s now 2014 and I’m 38 years old and I’ve done all of the above and then some. Yet, now I am not doing it all for me anymore, now I do it for two beautiful angels I’ve been blessed with. 

The road has been less than easy this far, actually, it’s been one hell of a ride and honestly, I’d not wish the road I’ve traveled upon anyone. For everything that has occurred has created a woman that is strong, courageous, fearless, selfless and will bend over backwards for those she loves all the while taking care of herself, she is a woman that is wonderful mother who  believes in showing her children not to rely upon others to live, yet to ask for help and who believes that by showing them how to live without regret all the while  pushing herself to the ultimate limits all the while without chemicals in her system, creates a world unknown to many but imaginable to most.

While we are closing out yet another year, the lessons came hard and the teachers weren’t the nicest to myself, yet the knowledge taken forth is priceless. The year will end and the next shall follow with only more chapters and more to learn. All the while, there’s so many people to help and so many to touch with  the way we choose to live life, yet the ones that matter most are the ones that are right next to you. Those, those are the ones that need you 100% of the time. Those are the ones that you need to focus on. The rest of them will follow and you will  be able to show them that by loving yourself,  your neighbor and the ones that love you, the way of the world is able to change.



“Faith in the first step is all we need, for the rest of the staircase doesn’t matter without the first step”