Your Touch ~~ THREE MORE DAYS!!!!

Three days and an airplane ride and I’ll be in your arms again. The thoughts are becoming unbearable. As I read, I’m unable to do anything but think of the first time you touched me.

As I seen you in the terminal, you were a dream come true and you were more then I’d ever imagined in a man that I’d ever meet. You’d taken the time to learn who I was and what I enjoyed, you took the time to do what you needed to be there and make sure that you showed interest in all of my life in such a short amount of time that when I saw you that day, I was blown away by the man that stood before me. I don’t remember walking up to you, I remember hugging you and the embrace was absolutely unforgettable, then when you kissed me, it was the most magical feeling I’d ever felt, only to have that feeling followed the entire time we were at the airport. 

When you threw me up against the wall at the terminal, that night, my heart leaped into a different dimension and I’m not sure it’s returned. 

The feelings of you throwing me over your shoulder when we walked into the grocery store, was a surprising feeling that allowed me to be a child all over again, knowing that we’d have nothing but a great time in front of us. 

As you looked at me, with your beautiful blue eyes and that smile, I melted. To this day, I melt. You don’t even need to touch me to melt me in my chair.

As you wrapped your arms around me that night, it was a feeling unknown to me and yet so comfortable. All I wanted to do was stay in those arms and have your hands all over me, every minute for the rest of my life. The night went on and there was nothing that I’d have had changed, for the feelings that I felt that night were beyond exquisite, they were priceless and created all through a magic, only you and I know. When we sleep together and you wrap your arms around me, or I around you, it’s absolutely priceless and time stops. The only thing I want to do is, lie there with you, forever. If time stopped with me next to you, it would be too soon.

The days that we spent visiting different areas, still come back to me like they were yesterday. The environments were replaceable, yet it was the feelings where you touch me. When you’d hold my hand or put your hand on my leg, those moments have been so missed and yearned for over multiple years. As you touch me, my body feels it throughout its entirety and I want nothing more than you to put your arms around me and never let me go. 

I’m not sure I’ve told you, but when we were visiting one of your favorite restaurants on my last visit, you were sharing something and I found myself lost. Lost in your eyes and the simple fact that you were sitting there, sharing about your world, to me…no one else… and you were all mine. I was lost in the fact that those moments were real and that in that single moment, I was in a heaven I’d not felt before. I was somewhere I’d never been and it wasn’t that it wasn’t real, it was that you were everything I’d ever hoped for and more and you were right in front of me, wanting nothing but me and to show me your world. I was lost in the fact that for the first time in my life, someone was willing to do whatever it took to show me that I was his and he wanted to be mine.

I find myself day dreaming, while standing in my kitchen, laying on my couch looking at the sky, laying in my bed at night or just plain ole staring off into space, the feelings of your touch. Yearning for you to walk up to me and grab me, hold me and tell me that you are there and not going anywhere. I reminisce the times we’ve been together and relive those moments, only to look forward to the next time we are together to create more memories. Every night, I hold my teddy bear, thinking of what it felt like when you held me while I started to fall asleep and knowing that the moments were priceless. I reminisce of when we’re riding up to the mountains and you had your hand on my leg, where it looked right and felt as though it was meant to be right there. I reminisce of when you were in the terminal on my last visit and you see me in the dress that I decided to wear and your eyes wanted nothing more than to take me right there, with the result of you taking me into your arms and not getting enough of me at that moment and the others that were soon to follow.

Three more days and an airplane ride and we will be able to create magic all over again, this time I know that when you finally leave my side, it will be more difficult and that I will yearn such as this again. Though I also know that the gods didn’t do this to us to leave us here, in this moment, alone. I know that someday, these moments will pass and that we will work through this ‘long distance’ portion and create something much more.

Mr. B, the magic that we have is real, passionate and extremely desirable to each of us that even though there’s mountains included, we’ll move them to continue this epic adventure. Not only for us, but for those that don’t believe that this type of relationship is possible any longer.
Thank you for showing up in my life and thank you for the patience you’ve shown, with my defects and the rest of my crazy cancer personality shows. Thank you for believing and for not giving up on what we both yearn, yet won’t admit. Thank you for being the man I’ve always dreamed of and for waiting for me all the while working on you.

Here’s to more memories…. Pictures….. and stories to share with those that would like to know what it is like to fall hard all over again, even before life begins at 40.

He's Humble ~ He's Real ~ He's MINE in 5 days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My heart sinks when I know you are hurting and to be over 900 miles away from you, makes it that much more difficult. There’s nothing more I would like to do then be there and put you in my arms and show you that it will be OK. There’s nothing more I want then to take away the pain and make things right for you. To hear the pain in your voice, tugs at my heart, knowing that the moments that created that emotion in you is nothing I’m able to change and to be so far away from you, makes it even that much more difficult.

When you share your feelings with me and your thoughts, the feelings of wanting to be near you are stronger today than they were when we started this journey. You share your utmost thoughts and feelings with me, attracting me to you more and more. You share your pain and joy with me and it’s beyond a comfortable feeling, it warms my heart and creates something I’ve not felt in a very long time. It feels so good to have someone rely on me with their heart and soul, creating a magic I’ve  not received from the other gender in quite some time.

When you share how you handle situations and the actions you put forth over what you’d like to do and what you’re vengeful side would choose, my attraction to you becomes even stronger and more intertwined.

The man I met is not fictitious, he’s real.
The man I’m beginning to know is not only real, but his heart is in the ‘right’ place..
The man I’m falling for has a desire to do right and create a world that is unknown to society today.

The man who is becoming my best friend is beyond an angel type, he’s out to do the world good.

The man I will be with in less than 5 days, is such an extraordinary man, that I cannot wait to share with the world and to show everyone that these men do exist for the women that are READY for a good soul to appear in their worlds.

There comes a time in your life when you need to make decisions and it’s up to each and every one of us to do the next ‘right’ thing admist what we’d actually like to do. We all have desires and wants, yet it is in the good that we need to seek out to overcome all that evil and follow our clear heart and wash it all away by doing good. By following the good in our hearts, we become the stronger person and in the end that person is the one that is rewarded, even though waiting for it takes time and energy. As well as much patience. 

There’s so many lessons I’ve learned in life and one of the hardest ones has been to be the better person, as hard as it is and as difficult as it is to hold to my word and follow through with my actions. Though, I’m pretty certain that anything that I’ve had to hold true too has not only paid off, it’s made those around me stronger as well. 

Hopefully I’m able to never lose this man I share about, actually if I could keep him forever, at this point in our journey, I’d do it. He continues to awe me and show me how great of a human being he really is. We might be in the midst of a long distance relationship, but I’m pretty sure that the gods know what they are doing and that between the distance and time for us, we are finding something magical and today, I’m going to work on enjoying every ounce of it. For who knows..

Tomorrow may never come.

PASSION and MAGIC ~ Our first kiss ~

When I looked at him, he was almost surreal – he was more then I’d ever imagined, even though I’d seen him on Skype, he was ten times better. As I approached him, we hugged and then he kissed me…..

The world disappeared, it was gone.
There was nothing but him and I and then he lifted me up and held the kiss longer.
There were no noises.
There was nothing but him and I…

That moment.
That moment was a month ago tomorrow.
That moment.
That moment, led into another kiss, a few feet away… it was just as passionate. The world disappeared again for that moment.

Before we left the airport, we were downstairs and he threw me up against the wall and kissed me again.

The world stopped.
There was nothing but him and I.
That moment was a month ago tomorrow.
He was mine and I was his and the magic felt so electric.
There were no noises.
There were no people.
There was nothing but him and I.

I’ve waited for almost a decade, to not only find someone that would call me beautiful, but someone that wanted me for me. Not for someone to walk away from, but for someone to want to wake up next to me. I’ve waited for someone to desire me as much as I desire them. I’ve waited ….

When we kiss, the world stops. He makes whatever there is wrong is this world, right.

When we kiss, my foot goes up and my heart flutters.

When we kiss, my breath is taken and my soul melts in his arms.
When we kiss, there’s nothing in that moment but him and I.
When we kiss, the magic is created that no one would break.
When we kiss, the waiting is more than priceless, it was worth it.

Mr. B, I’ve waited for someone like you for a very long time.  What we’ve found is extremely profound and the gods and universe that brought us together has made something amazing and beautiful. The risk that I took to fly out to meet you and put in all towels and give something different a try, was more then worth it. I would do it over 100 times, if I could. Yet, instead, let’s keep the magic flowing and show Florida what a long awaited relationship is and share the joy that we have with those around us.

Here’s to another EPIC adventure in less than 9 days.

Thank you to the Angel that arrived in my life ( Here's to 13 days till I hold you again )

When you text or call, I immediately want to put myself in a room and lock the door so that it’s just us.
When you share with me your day and what it all entails, I want to be right there with you, watching your gestures and eyes as you share your day with me.
When you explain to me what you encountered with your daughter and the time you two had together, I want to be there to know that you had a great time and see it in your face.

When you ask me what you can do to help or how can you help with my future, I feel at ease and know that my time here is worth every stressful minute I encounter.
When you share with me what you are going to be doing, I want to be there when you return to hear all about it and sit and cuddle, working on the future together.

It’s not an easy challenge, having a long distance relationship with someone that you care deeply for, yet the times that we are together are magical and I wouldn’t change them for the world. It’s the moments that we share, that are priceless for we know that the moments to come will be magical and yet the moments that we have today are all that we have with the memories that we’ve made. 

In 13 days, I’ll be back in your arms, awaiting another adventure with you by my side. Though this time, you'll experience some of the first events that I will also endure and knowing that, makes my future even more exciting. It creates this journey that I’ve only dreamed of for years. A dream that I only wanted for myself, as a little girl. Where I was able to encounter new places, new events, new friends all the while having a friend right next to me, to share all the successes, the joys, the stress, the emotions, the entire experience and know that you are able to enjoy it with me.

As I move forward in life, it seems as though the opportunities are endless and knowing that you want to be right there with me, makes the fears stay at bay and the excitement rise. It comforts me to know that you are interested in everything that I experience, all the while wanting to make it more memorable. It comforts me to know that if I were to fall, you’d be there to help me stand back up. It feels so at home with you and the comfortable feelings that I’ve encountered will only strengthen as we move forward.

The past decade has been nothing shy of trials and tribulations, yet if this is what I was working on and preparing for, your arrival that is, it was all worth it. Every tear, every pain, every moment that I worked through and all that went along with the above.

Here’s to another amazing adventure in 13 days with the man that you are and with the bond that we are creating, only hoping that our future is as EPIC as our adventures have been thus far.

Thank you for entering my life when you did and Thank you for being the man that you and all that you entail. I’m nervous, excited and enthralled to learn more about you and to be able to integrate all that we know into one as we move forward into our lives together.

A short memorable visit ~ The continued Fairy Tale

The ticket had been purchased, plans were made for the children too be tended to while I was gone, the outfit that was to be worn was laid out, the tan was on, the necessities were put into place for the early morning ahead of myself.

I had planned to take a carry on, then I looked over at the main surprise that I’d put together and realized that if I went through security with such an item, I may have to put some of it to rest or it may not arrive as I had planned and all the work that I’d put into it, I didn’t want to chance it. The decision to bring a check bag was made, with the help and reminders from a few face book friends. A quick change in plans.

Sometimes, 4:30 AM seems early, yet this time it didn’t matter to me what time it was, for in a few hours I’d be in his arms. I prepared my arrival in Denver and dolled myself all up, for this time I was NOT arriving in a just some clothes. I decided that this time, when he sees me, he will not know what to think nor would he want to ever take his eyes off me!!! The hair was ironed, the dress was short and the heels were high, knowing full well, he’d love what he see in front of him, only based off of what he’s shared previously with me. He has told me all he wants is the ‘real’ me. Well, this is a side of me that loves to show up unexpectedly every so often.

There were some hiccups in the AM on the way to the terminal, yet, I prayed and asked for the ‘right’ answers and boom, it all worked out. I also made a lot of new friends on the way to the airport!! Networking and connecting with others is KEY in my life and I take all opportunities to do so.

When we arrived at the terminal, the transition to the gate was extremely smooth. Was it due to the fact that I was all dolled up or was it just a fluke thing, I’m not entirely sure, but I was treated with the utmost respect and kindness the entire time I was in the airport and on the plane. As I boarded the plane, I was sat in between two men. The one near the window shared where he was going and the travels he’d had, his children and some more of his life. He then proceeded to ask me why what was bringing me to Colorado, I shared with him the new romance in my life and how excited I was to see him at the terminal in Denver. He noted as I shared I like adventure, that he could see that plain as day. So, here’s to another new connection.

Arriving into Denver was quite the intriguing moment, for I was nervous, excited and scared (I mean, what if he doesn’t like what he sees??), but it didn’t stop me in my tracks. I took this risk and ride for a reason and the reasons will yet be revealed, though I knew that was where I needed to be that weekend and that I needed to share this time with him. I knew that the people that we had planned to meet was meant to be. I knew that the places we were going to visit were supposed to be visited.  I knew that this weekend in my life was to be profoundly exciting and would embark on memories totally unimaginable. I knew that by the time I set foot in this terminal, I’d be in a better place, for whatever reasons were yet to be unrevealed.

As I walked up the escalator, I said a quick prayer and watched intuitively to another couple, who were obviously visiting Colorado as well, as they were taking pictures. I wondered how long they’d been together, what brought them to this place, not only the physical place, but in their lives, what had that been like? I watched them until the escalator brought me up to the view above…….

There he stood, handsome as ever and with red roses!!! At first, I was upset that he bought me flowers again, as I’m not used to this, I’m not used to someone spending time and money on me. Then I see his eyes and I knew that even that upset feeling needed to go and I needed this more now than ever. He was exactly what I was supposed to have in my life at that moment. I walked to him, hugged and kissed him and knew that this was going to be another amazing weekend in my life.

As we left the airport, I took a deep breathe and collected my thoughts, for there was so much I wanted to share with him that I didn’t want to do over anything technical. I was trying to stay in the moment and not think of what it would be like to meet his the love of his life, his daughter, yet we talked about it and we shared how it felt to make the next move, into a stronger commitment in our lives together. We shared about the past, we shared about old messages, and we shared about how great it felt to be together again, we shared a lot.

One of the greatest things about this man, is how open and honest he is. He is so willing to communicate everything that is going on inside and also shares that he expects the same from who he is with. He opens up and allows me into his every thought and all of his messages, old or new. He shares with me his feelings and how he perceives the world. He just plain ole shares. It creates a bond with him that is the most comfortable feeling that I’ve felt with another man in quite some time. He helps me to feel at peace at his side, he doesn’t judge me, he listens to me, he asks for more detail (and for those  of you that know me, know that I’m all detail and talk!! LOL), he wants to know my thought processes, he wants to know what I’m feeling, and he wants to know. It feels amazing that someone is so interested in ME.

He tried to see how much of a ‘trick’ he could play on me, for I knew that we had time to get back to his place and have some time together, yet I had placed myself so in the moment, that I missed the time lapse so he had me believing that I was going straight to pick up his daughter when we returned to his town. I was baffled, for I wanted to change and be in a more respectful outfit. I wasn’t sure how to handle this situation, yet, I’d handle it the best that I was able to with what I had in front of me, for I wanted to send a good message to her and not one with a twist. Then, I confronted the time, which was a huge relief for me, as I wanted to make sure that I was as comfortable as possible when I stepped in front of her and show her the same respect.



We stopped to grab a bite to eat and then headed over to his place so that I was able to get settled, change and collect all my thoughts. He put the flowers to home in a vase and took care of them with the utmost care. Only attracting me more to him and his love for the wonderful gift we have here on earth, nature. He tends to such beauty with care that I’ve never seen in a man before, it’s as though he knows that they are alive as well and watching him just melts my heart, knowing that God put a man who knows what life really is about, in front of me.  

I wanted to give him the main surprise, which consisted of 17 days of surprises and little forget me not’s, something for each day that we’d be apart and for him to know that even though I’m 900 miles away, I’m really right there with him. So I handed him the bag that took up over half of my check bag and he was a bit astounded when he opened the bag. I allowed him to open the card and shared with him that I created each surprise to his work schedule so that he could actually take those with him on Monday and have them there for when he returns. Yet, I messed up on one of the days, so I allowed him to open that one. It was a picture that was meant to stay at his place, for I had one on my dresser to match it. Surprises are super fun and everyone likes them, but when they are from the heart and created with the utmost simplicity, it means the world, so I decided to return that feeling to him.

Then, we were on our way to grab his daughter. I was a bit nervous, for this was a young lady that meant the world to him and he was about to share me with her, only risking that we’d not click yet keeping faith that we’d connect on a level that was comfortable and embrace a new bond. It’s the person in his life that he’d move mountains for and that meant the world to me that he’d want me to not only meet her but spend time with her. I said a prayer and asked for the courage to be myself and allow the universe to take hold of the next few hours.

She was as beautiful as her father was handsome, it could have been that she was a mirror of him, not only in the physical appearance, but of the soul that she had. For her personality was a lot like her father’s, she was down to earth, loving and caring as well as adventurous with a spin of open mindedness and held a piece of the velveteen rabbit within. Showing the world that she is who she is and that’s OK. I immediately knew I’d get along with her, for her soul was not hiding through masks, it was there on her sleeve. I couldn’t but wish to spend more time with her and get to know the person that she is, and all that she inspires and hopes in life. 

After hanging out at their house for a while, doing what they do, you know, things like jumping on the trampoline and being kids, we would head out to supper. This is where he decided to 'ground' me from my phone, other then calls from or about the children. 

We chose to eat at Olive Garden and it felt pretty amazing to be able to sit with them, all the while picking on Mr. B and creating friendships, learning about each other and sharing our worlds with each other and laughing. They keep a pretty happy environment and laughter is a must in their journey. It felt comfortable and very inviting.

We had to take his daughter to meet her friend, as she was going for a sleep over and some friend time. The friend’s parents invited us in and it was pretty comforting, for they just accepted the fact that I was with Mr. B and never blinked twice. It was another comfortable experience. 

As we left, he asked me what I was interested in doing next. I decided that all I wanted to do was spend time with him, we opted for a movie as the next day we were planning on visiting Pike’s Peak and that would be a longer day. It was nice to curl up and watch a movie together, for it’s one of my favorite things to do in this journey. It was here that I learned that we had another thing in common and that neither of us welcome others to speak while we are watching movies. (Course I had to push his buttons to learn this and then make it fun … he he he)

Saturday, he wanted to share another restaurant with me that he thoroughly enjoyed. We visited the ‘Hungry Bear’ and filled up prior to heading up the mountain. It was nice to sit with him and share another ‘favorite’ of his. Yet, it was nicer to sit with him and continue to awe myself as I looked over and realize that he’s really real and that I’m utterly blessed to have such a soul in my life. It was so overwhelming to know that this man was here, in front of me, fulfilling something that I’ve missed for so many years and that this is not a book I’m ready, a  movie I’m watching but my life. 

We headed up to the mountain, what I didn’t realize is that the steep sides would impact me so and that I would have to almost grab ahold of a faith inside that I didn’t realize I’d need. The fear of falling was real and the fear of being so far above the world was electrifying. As we headed up the mountain, we shared different feelings, thoughts and intimate messages that we had inside. This is the stuff that I’d been missing for so long, yearning for, yet extremely scared of. The strangest part of all of that was, I was extremely comfortable and I knew that this is right where I needed to be and that Mr. B was exactly who I was supposed to be spending these moments with. He and I were there for a reason that was so profound it gave me goose bumps at one point, and with those feelings and thoughts, I was able to continue to be myself and share with an open heart and willingly. Where usually I’d shut down and not allow a man in, for what if they get to close? 

We stopped to hike up some rocks and a different view. Memories were made in the mountains that day, not only at this stop, not only on the drive, but all the way to the summit. We ended up at the top and I was not able to catch my breath. So technically speaking, he took my breath away and took me to the top of the world. It was mesmerizing, enough to where I had to hold back tears knowing that we were making some memories that will never be forgotten. As well as I had not been acclimated to the altitude and I needed to sit down to ‘catch my breath’.

 The summit 

What I didn’t realize was that Mr. B was listening to the others around us and there some hikers that had made it to the top and while there was a storm coming in, they didn’t know how they’d get to the bottom. He didn’t say anything to them, but mentioned it to me as we were pulling away. I shared with him that he could go and ask them if they figured things out and offer them a ride, as he wanted to do in the first place. We ended up with 3 hikers and then went down the mountain to gather up two more that were stranded and the timing that we met up with them was impeccable, for as they got into the vehicle, it began to down pore. Again, he was a hero, but only with my permission. (Course I told him that we could pick up strangers, as long as the children are not with us and that we could take em if they did anything…He’s a firefighter and I’m a body builder- HA)

As we headed back down the mountain, I took a chance to share our story with them, for Mr. B had continued to ask how I tell others our story. It was adorable watching him blush and smile through it all, knowing that what we had was amazing and to be able to share such a story is intriguing for all of those that are listening. Plus, it was a LONG ride down with the storm and all. By the time we were at the bottom of the mountain we had new friends and created memories for everyone. It seems that when you are doing all the right things in your heart, you are introduced to the most breath taking moments and opportunities, as long as you are open to the universe and welcome to change. After hearing their adventures and what they all accomplished that day, I was reminded of the goals that I’ve been able to accomplish in such a short time here on earth and that the joy and confidence that I’ve received from them all is irreplaceable and helped to create the woman that I am today. It was great to hear that in their voices and know that they achieved a piece of that, that day as well for themselves.

We said our goodbyes and we headed on our way to finish up our visit, for Saturday was slipping away and we knew that the moments that we had in front of us were extremely precious. We stopped back at his place, where I needed to lay down my head and he joined me. We ended up falling asleep from exhaustion, in each other’s arms. It was hard to sleep, because all I wanted to do was enjoy the moment, yet I fell into a deep slumber and we both rested. He woke and shared that we needed to get up so that we could do the next event and not allow the hours slip away. We ended up watching a movie and was joined in a short time by his daughter, after her adventures for the day. Needless to say, the evening was nothing shy of comfort and warmth in my heart. I’d said my goodbyes that evening to her, for we had to leave extremely early in the morning, as I scheduled an early flight so that I’d be able to be home with my children and prepare them for the next day to see them off for their first full week of school and my youngest first day of school. It was a goodbye that I knew would not be a last.

The next morning, he made sure that I had my roses, all wrapped perfectly and tended to so that they would make the trip home and stay well with me. He made sure I had all of my belongings and that I was put together for the trip home. He said to me that he missed me already and I’d not even stepped out the door. I asked Mr. B to spray his T shirt that he’d sent home with me last time, in his cologne. Of course he not only did so, but he also placed it into a zip lock bag, ensuring me that it would get home with me, not only safely but smelling of his scents until we are in each other’s arms again.

As we drove to the airport, we spoke of the future and the excitement of what may come and the fears of what we might face, we spoke of dreams and wishes, we spoke of what we enjoyed this visit and what we can’t wait to do next. We shared. We connected. We became.

At the airport, he took my bag out and hugged me and kissed me. Telling me that he missed me already. He sent me on my way, knowing that we’d be together again, soon. I didn’t stop long enough to realize that I was leaving his side, for I knew that we’d be together soon enough. I didn’t dwell on the fact that I was about to get on a plane ride and head north 900 miles. I didn’t stop to think that the next day I’d wake up and he’d not be there. I looked down at the roses that I was carrying and embraced every memory that we’d created. I stood in the moment, realizing that the man that I just left was sent to me by the gods and that I’m extremely blessed to have a soul in my life that will put up with my crazy side and stand by me through it, even contemplating the future and making plans to create more memories. I took every opportunity to share where the roses came from with everyone that would listen and had a permanent smile, knowing that he’s mine and better yet, he wants to keep me.

On the plane ride home, I sat between two men again. This time, the man to my left was the brother to the man I sat with on the way to Colorado. He said his brother had mentioned me and I shared my story with him, my aspirations and of course my firefighter and the story. The best part of that visit and new acquaintance wasn’t the sharing of my story, but what he said to me in return. He shared with me about his daughter that he’d given up when he was in high school and how she came back into his life and was now a huge part of the family. He shared with me his experiences and some of his life challenges, reminding me that in order for me to be successful in my life, the good has to join the turmoil in order for my story to be successful and the man that’s appeared in my life, sounds to be part of that good. He shared hope with me. He shared with me that a lot of times the life that we create is not an easy one, but well worth it.

Long distance isn’t easy, but I’m pretty confident that if this is what I believe it’s turning out to be, I’ll take the risk and time needed to make it real and create something that will last eternity. Anything in my life that was priceless and worth every second to gain it, never came easy, it always came with a price and this is a price I’ll pay. I’m confident that I’ve been blessed with a god sent and I’m not walking away from this one.

It’s not always the way you’d think it was supposed to be, but it’s also always a wonderful thing when it’s unexpected.

 (I kinda like him) 

....Always stop to smell the roses.... 

ALWAYS EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED

STAY IN THE MOMENT

EMBRACE THOSE AROUND YOU

FOLLOW YOUR HEART

SHOW THOSE YOU CARE ABOUT HOW MUCH YOU CARE 

Lori Juette Yokiel Motivational Speaker

A fairy tale ? A reality ? WHO CARES IT'S REAL !!!!!!!!!

In 2008 I lost multiple things and one of them was the man that I married… He decided it was time to move on from the misery that we had encountered in our lives.  For the next three years, I tried my hardest to make it work. To make what I thought was exactly what I was meant to have in my life and to rekindle my marriage, while he was with another woman.

In 2011, as I sat folding socks, watching the ball drop, crying as I did every year after he’d left….I had a revelation. I realized that I was being put through a slow death by myself, trying to change something and someone that I’d never had any control over and that I wasn’t working on who I needed too. I realized that it was time to let go and begin the real work. The work that needed to be had on me and my insides and get my outsides to match.

In 2014, I was given a chance to let go of EVERYTHING that was tied to that past chapter. The previous year, in August, we had to put down our family dog and in November, we had to get a new vehicle, as the van we had would not make it long enough for the children and me. In March of 2014, I was laid off from my job after having been there for over 16 years.  In April, I removed the furniture and items that we had in the marriage. I let everything go that I had between the marriage and myself. There’s no more wedding rings, no more jewelry, no more pictures, no more ties to that chapter.  I decided it was time to start a new. Time to turn the chapter and allow the universe to work it’s magic.

What I didn’t know was that the universe had planned so many amazing things for me as I erased old messages, broke old traditions and turned the page on everything I’d learned growing up and helped me to see new possibilities. I didn’t know that after having worked so hard on my insides, my outsides and the relationships that I’d surrounded myself with and made priorities in my life, were all based in love. Not only unconditional love, but the ultimate, soul jerking, love. I’d erased all the negative people, places and vibes that had impacted or even solidified old messages. I’d move on into a world that I was comfortable in where all I knew was respect, love and patience with every move I’d make. I’d wake up knowing that God had my back and that nothing else was going to erupt that. I’d wake up without knowing how to pay the bills or even buy groceries, yet knowing all along that God had an EPIC destiny for me. Not something that was going to be known to me, but that I was going to be OK. I knew that no matter what all I had to do was the next ‘right’ thing and follow my heart. Not the old ways, messages or even traditional ways of living.

Now do you call the romance that’s new in my life a fairy tale or do you simply call it like it is and a new relationship that I’ve deserved my entire life, only it never prevailed due to the simple fact that I didn’t allow myself to love myself enough to accept the type of man that every woman dreams of.

I think I’ll call it a fairytale, because it’s not only a romance with a significant other, but it’s a romance with myself and how by loving myself I’m open to the possibility of allowing another soul to do the same at the same level as I am for myself. I think I’ll keep it interesting, because we both enjoy adventure and the same level of excitement that keeps a fire a brewing and a life adventurous as well as showing the world that nothing needs to become stagnant for life is an adventure in itself. We both enjoy seeing people smile, not because of only a joke was said, but because deep in your heart, you feel the joy as well. We both enjoy deeply connecting with nature and being reminded where we came from and who’s really in control. We both enjoy helping out the world and showing them that good exists in all totality. We found each other for a simple reason and today I’m going to stick with the hope that it’s to inspire the rest of the world that the impossible is possible, even with a true romance.

Except this romance wasn’t made up – it was created by the gods above and the universe deemed it fit for two souls to meet and create something wonderful only to increase hope and motivation in the world as a whole.

I’m not telling you that what’s happening in my life today won’t end tomorrow, but I am telling you that I’m not going to give up on this adventure, for as far as I can tell my superman arrived and all he wants to do is help me to become more. Which in turn, is what I’ve always wanted in my life. So, technically, another dream of mine is surfacing.

Here’s to believing.
Here’s to a fairytale.
Here’s to what we all wish for and are afraid to seek for it’s in the work that we’ve done on ourselves that created what we have together today.

Work on you and you’ll be absolutely astonished at what will prevail in your life and journey. Sometimes all we need to do is get out of the way and work on ourselves. Learn to love you and be amazed at what else you'll allow yourself to love as well.

Lori Juette Yokiel Motivational Speaker

Here's to believing, not giving up and 4 more days!!!

What I find interesting is that we all fight what we could have in life, because of fear. We fight the universe and listen to old messages placed in our minds that have allowed our lives to end up right where we never wanted to be. We allow the fear of the unknown to paralyze us. We allow the fear tied to what is not in front of us to stop us from never moving forward only holding onto what we have surrounded ourselves with and what we are most comfortable with. We stop what we dreamed and what we’ve always wished was in front of us because of the fear that it might not happen. We stop ourselves from taking risks, because of the fear of success and failure. What happens if you had no fear and did everything you ever imagined????

Tonight I understand the saying “One day it will makes sense why it didn’t work out” and the one that says: “Someday someone will walk into your life and make you realize why the others walked out”. There were so many times I would hold onto what I thought it was that I was supposed to have, only allowing me to stay in fear and not take a risk to see the possibilities lying in front of me. I was paralyzed, because how do I know that the actual possibility of falling in love again, was going to come my way. Paralyzed by the thought of being hurt again or even the feelings of love again with the horrible outcomes that may or may not appear.

Tonight (as well as the past few nights) I knew that the sayings were not only written because someone hoped they were true, though they were true and that they did happen to others. Tonight, I looked at him over skype, into his baby blue eyes and the zoo went crazy in my tummy, my heart started fluttering and my mind only wanted to be next to him. Tonight I realized that the feelings of fear were no longer winning and that the feelings of love are upon me. Tonight, I realized that what I’ve wanted to happen and have yearned for, for over almost a decade, has now begun to happen.  Tonight, I realized that the dreams that I’ve always wanted to pursue were not dreams any longer – tonight I realized that my world is now everything I dreamed it could be. Tonight I realized that the lady that wanted something magical in her life has now begun to achieve it. Tonight I realized that the happy ending is upon the children and I and that no matter happens from here and out, I’ve allowed the universe to work 100% in my life. 

There’s still bumps in the road.
There’s still stress to be dealt with.

There’s still hope to strengthen.
There’s still more to do and oodles more to accomplish.
There’s still a huge story a brewin’.

Yet, there’s not a moment to waste and in order to complete this wonderful, magical fantasy story, I need to keep moving forward. There’s no time to stand still or give up. There’s no time to isolate or stop believing. There’s no time to stop living this phenomenal journey……

There’s only this moment and I need to capture them, share them and continue on with my journey of inspiration and show the world that the impossible is possible, which includes a beautiful love story.

Here’s to 4 days until I’m in his arms and I’m able to melt next to him…..but only to plan for the next visit and arrive with surprises for the upcoming month ahead. 

Lori Juette Yokiel's Motivational Speaker